Newcastle United F.C.

Newcastle United F.C. ~ Keeganaan

Introduction: On 5 February 1992, almost eight years after his final game as a player, Keegan returned to football as manager of Newcastle United. They had been relegated from the top flight in 1989 and narrowly missed out on promotion in 1990 after losing in the playoffs to arch-rivals Sunderland, but in 1991 they had failed to make the playoffs and at several stages in 1991–92 they had occupied bottom place in the Second Division. Following the dismissal of previous manager Ossie Ardiles, Keegan was appointed to prevent Newcastle from being relegated to the third tier of English football for the first time.

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A stottie is a flat and round loaf, about a foot in diameter and quite deep used here as a traditional north eastern replacement for naan bread.

Preparation time: 10mins or o mins

Cooking time: None or 10 mins

Home kit: large mixing bowl, large frying pan

Away kit: 4 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 4

Ingredients

  • 500g minced lamb
  • 1 egg
  • 2 green chillies, chopped (don’t rub your eyes)
  • 1 tbsp. ground coriander
  • 1 tbsp. garam masala
  • Handful fresh coriander, chopped (or a palmful of dried)
  • Generous pinch of salt
  • A little oil for frying

For serving

  • Chilli sauce
  • 1 stottie

Method: Preheat the oven to 100oC

First half

Put all the ingredients into a large bowl and mix with your hands. When nicely combined take it out of the bowl and onto a clean flat surface like a breadboard and knead it for a while until it becomes smooth and sticky, like dough. Form into four patties.

Second half

Put the stottie on a plate in the oven to warm through.

Put a little oil in a frying pan and fry each of the patties for a couple of minutes on each side. Put them in the oven to rest for 5 mins.

Full time results

While the patties are resting take out the stottie, cut into four and then prise open each quarter. Slop in a little chilli sauce, pop in a rested pattie and eat. With salad if you must.

Extra time

Alternatively, buy some seekh kebabs from the Indian on the way back from the match and stick them in a warmed stottie. With a salad if you must.

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Newcastle United F.C. ~ Geordie Pan Heggarty

Introduction: This is a bit convoluted so pay attention…  The Stanley Cricket Club of Byker was later formed in November 1881and renamed Newcastle East End F.C. in October 1882. In 1886 Newcastle East End moved from Byker to Heaton.

In August 1882, Newcastle West End F.C. formed from West End Cricket Club, and in May 1886, the club moved into St James’ Park.

The two clubs became rivals in the Northern League. In 1889 Newcastle East End became a professional team, before becoming a limited company the following March.

Newcastle West End were in serious financial trouble and approached East End with a view to a take over. Newcastle West End were eventually dissolved, and a number of their players and backroom staff joined Newcastle East End, effectively merging the two clubs, with Newcastle East End taking over the lease on St James’ Park in May 1892.

Newcastle United Logo.svg

Pan Heggarty is a traditional dish from the north east of England. It is a filling dish and a cheap way to fill stomachs.  The linguistic the root of Heggerty is probably the same as haggis , both derived from the French “hache” meaning chopped.

Preparation time: 30 mins

Cooking time: 40 mins

Home kit: Saucepan, large frying pan, grater and large mixing bowl

Away kit: 4 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 4

Ingredients

  • 2 large potatoes, par boiled and cooled
  • 1 medium onion, chopped
  • 4 rashers smoked streaky bacon, chopped
  • 2 cloves gnarly garlic, chopped
  • 150g strong cheddar cheese, grated
  • Handful fresh parsley, chopped (or a palmful of dried parsley)
  • Olive oil

Method:

First half

Par boil the spuds in the saucepan for 10 mins and leave to cool, running them under cold water helps. Fry the bacon in the large frying pan till crispy. While that is happening roughly grate the large potatoes into a large mixing bowl (large potatoes are easier to hold than little ones) then crumble in the crispy bacon and mix in the onion, cheese and chopped parsley. Make 4 patties out of the mixture.

Second half

Add some oil to the bacon fat (also called lard) in the frying pan and on a high heat fry the patties until they are crisp and brown, about 4 minutes a side. It is best to do them two at a time or the patties do not crisp up.

Full time

Lay the table with the away kit and serve and eat as soon as they have cooled down enough, with salad if you must.

Newcastle United F.C. ~ Mississippi Mag Pie

Introduction: Newcastle have probably been known as the Magpies since their founding on the 9th December 1892. Probably because of their black and white strip BUT there is a possibility that it comes from the tale that a pair of Magpies nested at St James’ Park shortly after it was built in 1880. You should know that Newcastle United actually played in red and white until 1904.

newcastle united fc 1892-94

This recipe is loosely based on the Mississippi mud pie that probably originated on the banks of the Mississippi and it should resemble the consistency of the eponymous mud.

Preparation time: 30 mins

Chillin’ time: 30-40 mins

Cooking time: 40-45 minutes

Home Kit: plastic bag, rolling pin, two medium mixing bowls that sit snugly on a saucepan, the saucepan that they fit onto and a 9 inch (23cm) cake tin with a removable base.

Away kit: Tea, tea cups, saucers and side plates

Serves: Some

Ingredients

  • 200g digestive biscuits
  • 60g and 180g unsalted butter (you’ll see why soon)
  • 60g and 180g dark chocolate (just wait and you’ll see alright?)
  • 4 large eggs
  • 180g brown sugar
  • 200ml double cream

For the topping

  • 100ml double cream
  • 2 tbsp. icing sugar
  • Some grated dark chocolate

Method: preheat the oven to 180oC (160oC if it’s a fan oven)

First half

Crush the digestive biscuits in the plastic bag with the rolling pin. Put the 60g portions of butter and dark chocolate (see told you) into the bowl over the pan with simmering hot water in it and melt them together. Then mix in the biscuit crumbs. Stick this gunge into the greased cake tin and stick the whole lot into the fridge.

Second half

Melt the remaining dark chocolate and butter in a bowl and leave to cool. Now beat up the eggs and brown sugar in the other bowl then whisk in the double cream. Lastly fold in that second batch of melted chocolate & butter. Pour the mixture over the chilled biscuit base and bake for about 40 – 45 minutes. Take it out and let it cool completely before popping it back in the fridge.

Extra time

For the topping whip the double cream with the icing sugar until it will hold soft peaks. Spread over top of pie and sprinkle on the grated chocolate.  I have yet to find a way of doing this in neat stripes.

Full time results

Serve with a nice cup of tea at half time, traditionally with ice cream in the Southern states.