Reading F.C.

Reading F. C. ~ Biscuitmen cheesecake

Introduction: Another recipe inspired by the great supporter of Reading F.C., my friend Alien. He told me that Reading were once called the Biscuitmen because of an association with Huntley and Palmers, who were based in Reading. This is a recipe incorporating biscuits and blueberries as discussed in The Ferryboat on Sunday, 10th March 2013.

Huntley & Palmers was a British firm of biscuit makers originally based in Reading, Berkshire. The company created one of the world’s first global brands and ran what was once the world’s largest biscuit factory.

Preparation time: 20 mins

Cooking time: 1 hour

Home kit: 23cm (9 inch) loose-bottomed cake tin, large mixing bowl

Away kit: 6 plates

Serves: 6


  • 75g butter
  • 200g digestive biscuits, crushed
  • 500g full fat mascarpone cheese
  • 1 x 397g can condensed milk
  • 1 tsp. vanilla extract
  • 3 eggs, beaten
  • Finely grated zest of one lemon
  • 150g blueberries

Method: Preheat the oven to 170°C

First half

Melt the butter in a large saucepan, don’t get it too hot or the butter will burn. Remove from the heat and stir in the biscuit crumbs. Tip them into the base of the cake tin, pressing them down with your fist to make a firm base. Chill in the fridge for about 20 minutes.

Second half

While it is chilling you make the filling. Beat the soft cheese in the mixing bowl until softened, then whisk in the condensed milk, vanilla extract, eggs and lemon zest. Pour the filling over the biscuit crumb base, then sprinkle the blueberries over the surface. Stick on the middle shelf of the oven to bake for 1 hour, until set.

Full time result

Leave until completely cold, serve.

Apologies to Kate who cannot eat this because of all the dairy shenanigans.


Alien also told me about his family’s claim to fame regarding H&P. The children’s TV series Chigley, narrated by Brian Cant, features a biscuit factory called Cresswell’s (perhaps a play on words for Crosse and Blackwell?). The factory was based on Huntley and Palmers where Alien’s great uncle worked. The character Willie Munn is based on him. Here is a picture of that famous Biscuitman.

Reading F.C. ~ Royals roast chicken

Introduction: This is my friend Alien’s signature dish. Actually it’s his only dish. For the proper kickball cuisine presentation it should be served with Jersey Royals slathered in butter and topped with chopped up Royal mint.

The 1985/6 achievement

The Royals’ hold the record for the most consecutive wins from the start of a Football League season, 13 in total under the leadership of Ian Branfoot.

Preparation time: 30 mins

Cooking time: 2 hours / 4 beers

Home kit: Roasting tin, large saucepan

Away kit: Some plates, big serving plate, knives and forks

Serves: 4


  • 1.2Kg whole chicken
  • 1 lemon
  • ½ bulb garlic, lightly crush the cloves
  • Black pepper, copious amounts
  • Malden sea salt
  • Goose fat
  • 2lb Jersey Royals
  • Sprig of Royal mint and some chopped
  • Some knobs of butter

Method: Preheat the oven to 180oC

First half

Stuff the lemon and ¼ of the garlic bulb in the chicken. Taking the neck of the chicken push the remaining garlic cloves up under the skin to rest on the chicken breast. Rub the chicken skin with the goose fat and sea salt. Stick the chicken into a roasting tin and put at the top of the oven.

Wash, don’t scrape or peel the potatoes, the flavour is in the skin and there is less washing up to do. Stick the larger ones at the bottom of the saucepan and the smaller ones on the top. Add enough water to almost cover the Royals, add a generous pinch of salt and the sprig of mint.

Take the chicken out of the oven now the goose fat has melted away and cover with the copious amounts of black pepper and return it to the oven.

Go to the pub/match.

Second half

On return from the pub/match (circa 2 hours) remove the chicken from the oven and set to one side to rest for 20 mins or so. Turn off the oven and stick the plates in to warm up.

Turn on the heat full blast under the Jersey Royals, once the water begins to boil, turn down the heat and simmer for 15-20 mins. Test the spuds with a fork to find out when they are tender, you’ll know. Strain into the sink and put into a big serving plate and stick knobs of butter on them to melt. Sprinkle the chopped mint over, this is the green sh1t in this recipe, nothing else is required.

Full time results

Hack bits off the chicken onto the warmed plates. Stick on table and ask people to help themselves to spuds and green sh1t.

There you go, there you go, there you go! There you go, there you go, there you goooooooooo


Reading F.C. ~ Royals Coronation chicken

Introduction: They are nicknamed The Royals, due to Reading’s location in the Royal County of Berkshire, though they were previously known as The Biscuitmen, due to the town’s association with Huntley & Palmers. Established in 1871, the club is one of the oldest teams in England, but did not join The Football League until 1920, and had never played in the top tier of English football league system before the 2006–07 season.

Preparation time: 20 mins

Cooking time: 10 mins

Home kit: Large frying pan, cooling plate, large mixing bowl

Away kit: Some plates

Serves: Some


  • Some yoghurt
  • Some crème fresh
  • Some mayonnaise
  • 3 tbls. mango and chilli chutney
  • 2 tsp. medium curry powder
  • Some sultanas
  • Some flaked almonds
  • Knob of butter
  • 2 chicken breasts or perhaps left over roast chicken
  • Some bread rolls



First half

First make the goujons by heating the knob of butter in a heavy frying pan, not too hot or the butter will burn. Slice the two chicken breasts into strips and sauté for 7 mins. Take out of the pan and set aside to cool.

Second half

While the chicken is cooking make the creamy sauce in the large mixing bowl by mixing the yoghurt, crème fresh and mayonnaise together. Now add the mango and chilli chutney, medium curry powder, sultanas, and flaked almonds. Mix it all up and let the flavours infuse.

Extra time

Put in the chicken goujons when they have cooled. Leaving this dish to fester in the fridge overnight improves the taste.

Full time results

Serve in some fresh buttered soft bread rolls. With salad if you must.