West Ham United F.C. ~ Cobby Moore

Introduction: Robert Frederick Chelsea “Bobby” Moore, OBE (12 April 1941 – 24 February 1993) was an English footballer. He captained West Ham United for more than ten years and was captain of the England team that won the 1966 World Cup.


He is widely regarded as one of the greatest players of all time, and was cited by Pelé as the greatest defender that he had ever played against. Moore is a member of the World Team of the 20th Century.

Preparation time: 10 mins

Cooking time: 10 mins

Home kit: large low sided baking tray, large saucepan

Away kit: The baking tray you cooked it on

Serves: kickball team


  • A fresh cob loaf
  • 2 chicken breasts cut into 1 inch cubes
  • 1 small tin sweetcorn (195g), the Devil’s Leavings.
  • 250g cream cheese
  • 250g sour cream
  • A packet of spring onion soup mix (difficult to find these days, a chicken stock cube works well too)

Method: Preheat the oven to 180oC

First half

Use a bread knife to cut a circular lid from the top of the loaf. Being careful not to cut through to the base of the bread cut a vertical cylinder of bread. Use your hands to pull out the soft bread until you are left with a crust bowl. Slice or break the extracted bread into fingers and scatter on the baking tray.

Put the cubes of chicken into the pan and cover with water, bring to the boil and simmer for 10 minutes. Drain and set aside to cool.

Second half

Put the sweetcorn, cream cheese, sour cream and spring onion mix into a large saucepan and place it over medium heat, stirring constantly, until it is softened.

Pour the filling mixture into the crust bowl and top with the crust lid. Put the assembly into the oven for 15 minutes to toast the bread.

Full time results

Remove from the oven, stick on the table allow to cool a bit and eat with your fingers using the toasted bread to dip.

West Ham United F.C. ~ Sir Geoff BratHursts with Sauerkraut

Introduction: Sir Geoffrey Charles “Geoff” Hurst MBE (born 8 December 1941) is a former England international footballer. A striker, he remains the only man to score a hat-trick in a World Cup final as England recorded a 4–2 victory over West Germany at the old Wembley in 1966. He made many Germans very sour.

I met Sir Geoff a while ago at a Teenage Cancer Trust fund raising event, I am probably the only Englishman since 1966 who failed to recognise him.  Sorry Stevie…

Preparation time: 10mins

Cooking time: 20 + 10 mins

Home kit: large saucepan, colander and grill

Away kit: 4 plates

Serves: 4


  • 6 fresh bratwurst
  • 2 (440 ml) cans beer/lager
  • 6 soft hot dog buns, split and toasted
  • English mustard
Sauerkraut Relish:
  • 3 Tbs. vinegar
  • 1 Tbs. sugar
  • 1 tsp. pickling spice
  • 1 tsp. caraway seed
  • A can sauerkraut, drained
  • ¼ finely chopped red pepper

Method: Preheat the grill to medium heat

First half

Prick several holes in the skin of each sausage. Put the bratwurst and beer into the saucepan and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat, cover and simmer for about 20 minutes until no longer pink. Drain into the colander and set aside to cool.

Now, in the same pan stir together the vinegar and sugar, cook until sugar is dissolved. Add the pickling spice, caraway seeds, drained sauerkraut and pepper. Stir again briefly, cover and allow to cool.

Second half

Grill the bratHursts under the medium heat, turning frequently until the skins are golden brown. This will take between 5 and 10 minutes.

Full time results

Serve in the buns with mustard and the relish while watching international kickball on the tele between Germany and England.


Cardiff City F.C. ~ Bluebirdy Rarebit

Introduction: Cardiff have been called The Bluebirds since sometime between 1909 and 1911.

You might be interested in the connection with the children’s play imagecalled The Blue Bird, written by the Belgian playwright Maurice Maeterlinck in 1909. The bird, a symbol of happiness, is pursued by children who want to imprison it in a cage and the play’s theme urges us not to try to hoard happiness for ourselves.

It came to the New Theatre in Cardiff in late October 1911. The publicity surrounding the play’s arrival and then Maeterlinck’s Nobel Prize for Literature combined with the new blue strip led to a mystery Cardiff City supporter deciding to call the team ‘The Blue Birds’. Gradually, it emerged as the favoured nickname before being adopted officially by the club.

Preparation time: 20 mins

Cooking time: 10 mins

Home kit: small mixing bowl, large toaster and a grill.

Away kit: 1 serving plate, napkins

Serves: 4


  • 1 free-range egg yolk
  • 85g/3oz Danish blue cheese, crumbled
  • 3 tbsp. double cream
  • 1 tsp. Dijon mustard
  • A dash Worcestershire sauce
  • salt and freshly ground black pepper
  • 2 slices crusty white bread

Method: Preheat the grill to medium

First half

Vigorously mix the egg yolk, cheese, cream, mustard, Worcestershire sauce, salt and pepper in the bowl until well combined.

Second half

Stick two slices of bread in one toaster slot so you only toast one side of each. Top the un-toasted side with the egg and cheese mixture and slap onto a baking sheet and slide under the grill for 3-4 minutes, until golden-brown and bubbling on top.

Full time results

Stick on the serving plate and eat immediately.  Well not immediately as you will burn the roof of your mouth, but you know what I mean.

Manchester United F.C. ~ Sir Alex Burgerson

Introduction: Sir Alex Ferguson was born on the 31st December 1941 in Glasgow. He shares a birthday with my grandfather.

He has won 49 trophies as a manager, making him the most successful British kickball manager in history.

The key to cooking a good burger is to create umami.  You can achieve this by getting the griddle you cook your burger on extremely hot before cooking. If you set off the fire alarms you’re doing it right!

Preparation time: 20 mins

Cooking time: 4 mins, plus 5 mins Bergie time

Home kit: griddle or barbecue,

Away kit: 4 plates, knives and forks,

Serves: 4


  • 4 x 100% Aberdeen Angus beef burgers
  • 4 x soft white floured bread rolls
  • Salt and freshly ground black pepper
  • Olive oil
  • Lettuce – shredded
  • Tomato, cut into strips
  • Dill pickles, cut into strips
  • Mayonnaise (full fat not the sliming rubbish)
  • Tomato sauce

Method: Preheat the barbecue or griddle till it’s smoking hot

First half

Coat the burgers with a generous pinch of salt and pepper. Allow to sit for a few minutes while the griddle or barbecue gets hot, stinking hot. Now coat with a light brush of olive oil and place on the heat and sear for one minute. Turn and sear for one minute. Rotate 90o and turn to get a goal net pattern going on your burgers, sear for one minute. Turn and sear for the final minute.

Put aside to rest for 5 mins (Bergie time) to allow the meat to relax and become soft.

Second half

While the burgers are resting toast the buns. Put the mayonnaise and tomato sauce on the base of the roll then cover with the shredded lettuce. After the 5 mins Bergie time place the pattie on the bun/lettuce combo and make a lattice of tomato and dill pickle strips on top to make a tasty vegetable tartan.

Full time results

Close the bun and eat vigorously as if on the side lines chewing gum.

Manchester United F.C. ~ Red Devilled Kidneys

Introduction: There is a rumour that suggests during a tour of France in the 1960s Manchester United were branded the Red Devils due to their red kit and Sir Matt Busby liked the name so much he asked for the club to incorporate a devil into the badge.

File:Manchester United FC crest.svg

Devilling is the use of Worcestershire sauce, mustard and cayenne pepper to flavour stuff, in this case kidneys.  It is an Edwardian (1901-1910) recipe popularised in gentleman’s clubs along with kedgeree and smoked herring.  This is the era during which Manchester United was officially born, specifically the 24th April 1902.

Preparation time: 25 mins

Cooking time: 10-30 mins

Home kit; Large frying pan

Away kit; 4 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 4


  • 6 lambs’ kidneys, about 375g/13oz, skinned
  • 2 tbsp. plain flour
  • 25g/1oz butter for frying
  • ½ small onion, finely chopped
  • 1 tbsp. tomato purée
  • 1 tsp. grain mustard
  • Pinch cayenne pepper
  • 1–2 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
  • 1 tsp. RedDevilsCurrant jelly
  • sea salt and freshly ground pepper
  • 4 thick slices of crusty bread
  • butter, for spreading


First half

Rinse the kidneys under cold running water. Using scissors, carefully cut the white cores out and bin them. If you have time, soak them in milk for 20mins before cooking, this removes any bitterness.

Melt the butter in a frying pan, not too hot or you’ll burn it. Add the onion and fry gently for 3–4 minutes until soft and turning golden-brown. Add the kidneys and cook for 2–3 minutes, turning every now and then until well coloured. BTW, cutting the little white bits out stops the kidneys curling.

Second half

Add the tomato purée, mustard, cayenne pepper, Worcestershire sauce and the critical RedDevilsCurrant jelly, season with salt and freshly ground black pepper.

Let the sauce bubble for a bit, say a minute, loosen with Worcestershire sauce if necessary. Set aside to cool for a little while in the pan while you toast the bread.

Full time results

Spread the toast with butter and lob on the kidneys. Serve immediately.

Fulham F.C. ~ Fulanhamme sandwich

Introduction: Fulham F. C. were founded in 1879 as Fulham St Andrew’s Church Sunday School F.C. They are based in Fulham, London Borough of Hammersmith and Fulham that used to be the diocese of “Fulanhamme and Gibraltar”.  The club has spent twenty-four seasons in English football’s top division, the majority of that in two spells during the 1960s and 2000s.

File:Fulham FC.svg

A Fulanhamme sandwich is a lunch sandwich, made with Lord London soft cheese, shredded ham in a small soft roll. This is to get the bread, meat, cheese, condiment balance correct.

Preparation time: 5 mins

Cooking time: 10 mins (I know it’s a sandwich!)

Home kit: Kitchen foil, optional baking tray

Away kit: 1 plate

Serves: 1 person per bun


  • Shredded ham
  • Lord London soft cheese
  • Butter (Proper stuff)
  • Horseradish mustard (yes it does exist)
  • Soft roll (small)

Method: Preheat the oven to 120oC

First half

Make the sandwich with the stuff.

Second half

Wrap in foil and stick it in the oven for 10 mins.

Full time result


Reading F.C. ~ Royals Coronation chicken

Introduction: They are nicknamed The Royals, due to Reading’s location in the Royal County of Berkshire, though they were previously known as The Biscuitmen, due to the town’s association with Huntley & Palmers. Established in 1871, the club is one of the oldest teams in England, but did not join The Football League until 1920, and had never played in the top tier of English football league system before the 2006–07 season.

Preparation time: 20 mins

Cooking time: 10 mins

Home kit: Large frying pan, cooling plate, large mixing bowl

Away kit: Some plates

Serves: Some


  • Some yoghurt
  • Some crème fresh
  • Some mayonnaise
  • 3 tbls. mango and chilli chutney
  • 2 tsp. medium curry powder
  • Some sultanas
  • Some flaked almonds
  • Knob of butter
  • 2 chicken breasts or perhaps left over roast chicken
  • Some bread rolls



First half

First make the goujons by heating the knob of butter in a heavy frying pan, not too hot or the butter will burn. Slice the two chicken breasts into strips and sauté for 7 mins. Take out of the pan and set aside to cool.

Second half

While the chicken is cooking make the creamy sauce in the large mixing bowl by mixing the yoghurt, crème fresh and mayonnaise together. Now add the mango and chilli chutney, medium curry powder, sultanas, and flaked almonds. Mix it all up and let the flavours infuse.

Extra time

Put in the chicken goujons when they have cooled. Leaving this dish to fester in the fridge overnight improves the taste.

Full time results

Serve in some fresh buttered soft bread rolls. With salad if you must.