West Ham United F.C. ~ Cobby Moore

Introduction: Robert Frederick Chelsea “Bobby” Moore, OBE (12 April 1941 – 24 February 1993) was an English footballer. He captained West Ham United for more than ten years and was captain of the England team that won the 1966 World Cup.


He is widely regarded as one of the greatest players of all time, and was cited by Pelé as the greatest defender that he had ever played against. Moore is a member of the World Team of the 20th Century.

Preparation time: 10 mins

Cooking time: 10 mins

Home kit: large low sided baking tray, large saucepan

Away kit: The baking tray you cooked it on

Serves: kickball team


  • A fresh cob loaf
  • 2 chicken breasts cut into 1 inch cubes
  • 1 small tin sweetcorn (195g), the Devil’s Leavings.
  • 250g cream cheese
  • 250g sour cream
  • A packet of spring onion soup mix (difficult to find these days, a chicken stock cube works well too)

Method: Preheat the oven to 180oC

First half

Use a bread knife to cut a circular lid from the top of the loaf. Being careful not to cut through to the base of the bread cut a vertical cylinder of bread. Use your hands to pull out the soft bread until you are left with a crust bowl. Slice or break the extracted bread into fingers and scatter on the baking tray.

Put the cubes of chicken into the pan and cover with water, bring to the boil and simmer for 10 minutes. Drain and set aside to cool.

Second half

Put the sweetcorn, cream cheese, sour cream and spring onion mix into a large saucepan and place it over medium heat, stirring constantly, until it is softened.

Pour the filling mixture into the crust bowl and top with the crust lid. Put the assembly into the oven for 15 minutes to toast the bread.

Full time results

Remove from the oven, stick on the table allow to cool a bit and eat with your fingers using the toasted bread to dip.

Cardiff City F.C. ~ Bluebirdy Rarebit

Introduction: Cardiff have been called The Bluebirds since sometime between 1909 and 1911.

You might be interested in the connection with the children’s play imagecalled The Blue Bird, written by the Belgian playwright Maurice Maeterlinck in 1909. The bird, a symbol of happiness, is pursued by children who want to imprison it in a cage and the play’s theme urges us not to try to hoard happiness for ourselves.

It came to the New Theatre in Cardiff in late October 1911. The publicity surrounding the play’s arrival and then Maeterlinck’s Nobel Prize for Literature combined with the new blue strip led to a mystery Cardiff City supporter deciding to call the team ‘The Blue Birds’. Gradually, it emerged as the favoured nickname before being adopted officially by the club.

Preparation time: 20 mins

Cooking time: 10 mins

Home kit: small mixing bowl, large toaster and a grill.

Away kit: 1 serving plate, napkins

Serves: 4


  • 1 free-range egg yolk
  • 85g/3oz Danish blue cheese, crumbled
  • 3 tbsp. double cream
  • 1 tsp. Dijon mustard
  • A dash Worcestershire sauce
  • salt and freshly ground black pepper
  • 2 slices crusty white bread

Method: Preheat the grill to medium

First half

Vigorously mix the egg yolk, cheese, cream, mustard, Worcestershire sauce, salt and pepper in the bowl until well combined.

Second half

Stick two slices of bread in one toaster slot so you only toast one side of each. Top the un-toasted side with the egg and cheese mixture and slap onto a baking sheet and slide under the grill for 3-4 minutes, until golden-brown and bubbling on top.

Full time results

Stick on the serving plate and eat immediately.  Well not immediately as you will burn the roof of your mouth, but you know what I mean.

Swansea City A.F.C. ~ Coquilles Saint Toshack

Introduction: John Benjamin Toshack OBE (born 22 March 1949) is a Welsh former footballer player, and now a football manager. He managed Swansea City taking over from Harry Griffiths in 1978 and he took them from the Fourth Division to the First in four seasons.

A splendid photo of John Toshack and Henry Newton (Derby).

As a player, he is remembered for being part of the Liverpool side of the 1970s, where he formed the forward partnership with Kevin Keegan.

This is a recipe  based on Coquilles Saint Jacques, the association of Saint James with the scallop can most likely be traced to a legend that the apostle once rescued a knight covered in scallops. Well, what else could it be?

Preparation time: 10 mins

Cooking time: 10 mins

Home kit: oven proof dish, medium-sized pan, slotted spoon

Away kit: 4 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 4


  • 1 tbsp. butter
  • ½ onion, finely chopped
  • 2 cloves garlic, crushed
  • palmful of fresh parsley
  • 8 scallops
  • 125 ml white wine, such as Chardonnay
  • 150 ml double cream
  • A good handful freshly grated cheese mixture ¼ parmesan, to ¾ mature cheddar cheese
  • Sea salt
  • Freshly ground black pepper

Method: Preheat the oven to 180oC

First half

Melt the butter in the pan over a medium heat and soften the onion and garlic in it for 2–3 minutes until softened and translucent. Add the parsley and season to taste. Remove the mixture from the pan with the spoon and set aside, leaving the liquor.

Second half

Warm the liquor in the pan when hot add the scallops and brown them on each side, this will take about 30 seconds for each side. Return the garlic and onion and add the white wine, and cook briskly for a couple of minutes. Reduce the heat and stir in the double cream, cook gently until reduced and thickened.

Pour the mixture into the dish and cover with grated cheese. Place the dish in the oven and cook until the cheese is golden.

Full time results

Garnish with parsley and serve immediately.

Swansea City A.F.C. ~ Jack Tarts

Introduction: There are a number of possible reasons why Swansea are known as the Jacks. First, there was a famous dog, a Labrador retriever or newfoundland, owned by William Thomas. The dog would always respond to cries for help, diving into the water and rescuing whoever was in difficulty. He rescued 27 people from the docks and River Tawe in and around Swansea; his name was Swansea Jack. Second, the derivation may come from the nickname given to Swansea’s skilled and dependable mariners. And third, a theory exists that the coal miners from there abouts were called Swansea “Jacks” because of their lunch-boxes that were uniquely made of Swansea tin and called Jacks. Who knows? I like the shaggy dog story myself.

Here are William Thomas and Swansea Jack.

Preparation time: 10mins

Cooking time: 10 mins

Home kit: 12-hole muffin tray, large mixing bowl, large frying pan

Away kit: 1 serving plate

Serves: might be 12 but it’s unlikely, they are exceedingly good.


  • butter, for greasing
  • 3 egg yolks
  • 125g/4½ oz. caster sugar
  • 30g/1oz cornflour
  • 1 vanilla pod, split, seeds scraped out
  • 175ml/6fl oz. whole milk
  • 225ml/8fl oz. double cream
  • 300g/10½ oz. puff pastry
  • plain flour, for dusting
  • icing sugar, for dusting

Method: Preheat the oven to 180oC

First half

Grease the wells of a 12-hole muffin tray with butter.

Heat the egg yolks, sugar and cornflour in the pan over a low heat, whisking continuously until thickened and smooth. Add the vanilla seeds, then add the milk and cream in a thin stream, whisking continuously, until the mixture is thick, smooth and well combined. Turn up the heat a little and continue to stir the custard mixture until it comes to the boil, then remove from the heat and cover the surface with cling film to prevent a skin forming and allow to cool.

Second half

Roll out the puff pastry onto a clean work surface lightly dusted with flour and icing sugar. Cut the pastry in half and place one sheet on top of the other. Roll the pastry sheets up like a Swiss roll and cut the roll into twelve slices. Lay each of the rolled pastry slices flat onto the work surface and roll out into 10cm/4in discs using a rolling pin.

Press a pastry disc into each of the wells of the prepared muffin tray. Divide the cooled custard equally among the pastry cases.

Into the oven to bake the tarts for 18-20 minutes, or until the custard has set and is pale golden-brown and the pastry is crisp and golden-brown. Remove from the oven and allow to cool in the tin.

Full time results

Serve on the plate with a nice cup of tea at half time in front of the tele.

Southampton F.C. ~ St. Mary’s Jelly

Introduction: St Mary’s Stadium is the home of Southampton F.C. in the lovely city of Southampton. It is a UEFA 4-star rated stadium and with a capacity of 32,689 is the largest football stadium in the south of England, outside London.


The Saints have played there since August 2001 when they moved from The Dell, which for held just over 15,000 spectators. The first match was played on 1 August 2001 against RCD Espanyol.

I have been to this stadium when I watched The Millwall from the stands. I was completely dressed in black for style purposes on that eventful day.

Here’s a strawberry and cream recipe for the colours.

Preparation time: 20mins

Cooking time: 5 mins

Home kit: large jug, 2.7 litre (4¾ pint) non-stick kugelhopf mould (ha!) or large bowl (more likely), medium saucepan, another bowl

Away kit: 11 plates and spoons

Serves: a kickball team


  • 2 x 135g packs strawberry jelly, Hartley’s is recommended.
  • ⅛ tsp. edible gold glitter, optional for the next FA Cup Final win.
  • Light oil for greasing, optional
  • 100g (3½oz) caster sugar
  • 1 vanilla pod, split lengthways
  • 300ml (½ pint) double cream
  • 600ml (1 pint) milk
  • 8 gelatine sheets

Method: Preheat the oven to 0oC (It’s a jelly!)

First half

Start by making the jelly. Snip the jelly into cubes and put into the large jug. Pour over 300ml (½ pint) boiling water and leave to dissolve, stirring occasionally. Top up the mixture with cold water until there is 1.2 litre (2⅛ pint). Stir in the glitter, if using.

Pour the strawberry jelly mixture into the kugelhopf mould or large bowl (if non-stick, grease lightly with the mild oil). Chill until completely set, which will take about three hours or one kickball match.

Second half

Meanwhile put the sugar, vanilla, cream and milk into a pan and heat gently, whisking occasionally to help release the vanilla seeds, until mixture just begins to boil. Take off the heat and leave to infuse for 15min.

Put the gelatine sheets into a bowl and cover with cold water. Leave to soak for 5min. Lift the soaked gelatine out of the water (discard water) and add to the cream pan – stir to dissolve (if the cream mixture is not hot enough to dissolve the gelatine, then reheat gently until it dissolves). Lift out the vanilla pod and leave the cream mixture until completely cool –the strawberry jelly needs to be fully set before proceeding.

Gently pour the cream mixture over the set jelly and refrigerate to set completely – about 5hrs. Or two games of kickball.

Full time results

To serve, turn out the jelly on to a serving plate. If it doesn’t come out easily, dip the base of the mould briefly into a bowl of hot water (take care that the water does not touch the jelly). Turn out and serve.

Newcastle United F.C. ~ Mississippi Mag Pie

Introduction: Newcastle have probably been known as the Magpies since their founding on the 9th December 1892. Probably because of their black and white strip BUT there is a possibility that it comes from the tale that a pair of Magpies nested at St James’ Park shortly after it was built in 1880. You should know that Newcastle United actually played in red and white until 1904.

newcastle united fc 1892-94

This recipe is loosely based on the Mississippi mud pie that probably originated on the banks of the Mississippi and it should resemble the consistency of the eponymous mud.

Preparation time: 30 mins

Chillin’ time: 30-40 mins

Cooking time: 40-45 minutes

Home Kit: plastic bag, rolling pin, two medium mixing bowls that sit snugly on a saucepan, the saucepan that they fit onto and a 9 inch (23cm) cake tin with a removable base.

Away kit: Tea, tea cups, saucers and side plates

Serves: Some


  • 200g digestive biscuits
  • 60g and 180g unsalted butter (you’ll see why soon)
  • 60g and 180g dark chocolate (just wait and you’ll see alright?)
  • 4 large eggs
  • 180g brown sugar
  • 200ml double cream

For the topping

  • 100ml double cream
  • 2 tbsp. icing sugar
  • Some grated dark chocolate

Method: preheat the oven to 180oC (160oC if it’s a fan oven)

First half

Crush the digestive biscuits in the plastic bag with the rolling pin. Put the 60g portions of butter and dark chocolate (see told you) into the bowl over the pan with simmering hot water in it and melt them together. Then mix in the biscuit crumbs. Stick this gunge into the greased cake tin and stick the whole lot into the fridge.

Second half

Melt the remaining dark chocolate and butter in a bowl and leave to cool. Now beat up the eggs and brown sugar in the other bowl then whisk in the double cream. Lastly fold in that second batch of melted chocolate & butter. Pour the mixture over the chilled biscuit base and bake for about 40 – 45 minutes. Take it out and let it cool completely before popping it back in the fridge.

Extra time

For the topping whip the double cream with the icing sugar until it will hold soft peaks. Spread over top of pie and sprinkle on the grated chocolate.  I have yet to find a way of doing this in neat stripes.

Full time results

Serve with a nice cup of tea at half time, traditionally with ice cream in the Southern states.

Everton F. C. ~ Sticky Toffees Pudding

Introduction: Everton have been known as The Toffees since they moved to Goodison Park in File:Everton F.C. (2013).svg1892. This is probably because there was a sweet shop nearby called Mother Noblett’s that sold toffees. The ground was also opposite the lock up that forms part of Everton’s club crest.  (It’s a lock up?  Yes, it’s a lock up.)

There is also a Toffee Lady tradition in which a girl walks around the perimeter of the pitch before the start of a match throwing free Everton Mints into the crowd. Hoorah!

They are now often referred to as “The people’s club” a semi official nickname after a quote from David Moyes before he moved to take over Manchester United.

Preparation time:  10 mins

Cooking time: 3-4 mins, then 30-35 mins

Home kit: Small saucepan, medium mixing bowl, electric whisk mixer thingy, ovenproof dish or brownie tin.

Away kit: Some pudding bowls and spoons.

Serves: Some


  • 200g dried dates , stoned and chopped. Buy Medjool if you can
  • 250ml black tea (not too strong)
  • ½ tsp. bicarbonate of soda
  • 85g unsalted butter, softened
  • 175g self-raising flour
  • 1 tsp. mixed spice.
  • 175g golden caster sugar
  • 2 beaten eggs


  • 100g light muscovado sugar
  • 100g unsalted butter
  • 142ml carton double cream

Method: Pre heat the oven to 180oC

First half

Put the dates and tea into the saucepan and bring to the boil. Cook for 3-4 minutes to soften the dates. Stir in the bicarbonate of soda.  It’s frothy man!

Beat the butter and caster sugar together with the electric mixer until pale and creamy, then beat in the eggs, flour and mixed spice. Fold in the date mixture and pour into the buttered ovenproof dish or brownie tin. Pop in the oven and bake for 30-35 minutes or until the top is just firm to touch.

Second half

While that’s happening, make the sauce by putting the sugar, butter and cream in a saucepan (I use the same one as the tea/date mixture after a quick sloosh) over a low heat and simmer until the sugar has dissolved. Cook until the sauce is a lovely toffee colour, you’ll know it when you see it.  Remove from the heat and allow to cool a little.

Full time result

Take the sticky toffees pudding out of the oven, cut it into squares and serve with the warm sauce and a scoop of vanilla ice cream.