Southampton F.C. ~ Currie McMenemy

Introduction: Lawrence “Lawrie” McMenemy MBE (born Gateshead, 26 July 1936) is a retired English football coach, best known for his spell as manager of Southampton Football Club.  He was on the Newcastle payroll but never played for the first team. Lawrie McMenemy is rated in the Guinness Book of Records as one of the twenty most successful managers in post-war English football.

His 12 years at Southampton put both him and the club on the map by guiding Southampton to FA Cup victory with a 1-0 win over Manchester United in 1976. They were runners-up in the League Cup in 1979 and the First Division in 1983-84. He persuaded Kevin Keegan, the then England captain, to join Southampton in 1980 after two years in the Bundesliga.

He is an ex-Coldstream Guardsman.

Blimey I’ve not cooked this in a while. I think the last time was for that great kickball aficionado David “Rodders” Carr.

Preparation time: 30 mins

Cooking time: 1 match

Home kit: large shallow casserole and a boiled kettle

Away kit: 4-6 plates, knives and spoons

Serves: 4-6 (well it should but often gets completely scoffed)


  • 1 lb. Neck or leg of lamb cut into 1 inch cubes
  • 4 tbsp. vegetable oil
  • 1 large onion
  • 4 cardamom pods, bruised
  • 4 green chillies, chopped
  • 2 red chillies, chopped (torn up if dried)
  • 1 thumb fresh ginger, grated
  • 4 cloves garlic, peeled and finely chopped
  • 1 tbsp. ground coriander
  • 2 tbsp. Paprika (Spanish is best, Rodders bought me some)
  • 1 tsp. turmeric
  • Some hot water
  • 1 tsp. tamarind paste or juice of 1 lemon
  • Some salt
  • A handful of fresh coriander leaves

Method: Preheat the oven to 180oC

First half

Fry the onion and cardamom pods in the casserole dish over a medium heat until the onion begins to brown. Reduce the heat and add the red and green chillies, ginger, garlic, coriander, paprika, turmeric and fry them for a minute. Add the meat and fry until the pieces are evenly browned, about another 5 mins.

Second half

Add a little hot water, the tamarind paste or lemon juice and place in the oven for 1¾ hours.

Or reduce the heat to 140oC and you can leave it for as long as you like, say a trip to the kickball and back again.

Full time results

Serve with plain boiled rice and dahl which you can pick up from the Indian on the way home from the match. Eat with a spoon, curries are always eaten with a spoon in our family.

Newcastle United F.C. ~ Keeganaan

Introduction: On 5 February 1992, almost eight years after his final game as a player, Keegan returned to football as manager of Newcastle United. They had been relegated from the top flight in 1989 and narrowly missed out on promotion in 1990 after losing in the playoffs to arch-rivals Sunderland, but in 1991 they had failed to make the playoffs and at several stages in 1991–92 they had occupied bottom place in the Second Division. Following the dismissal of previous manager Ossie Ardiles, Keegan was appointed to prevent Newcastle from being relegated to the third tier of English football for the first time.


A stottie is a flat and round loaf, about a foot in diameter and quite deep used here as a traditional north eastern replacement for naan bread.

Preparation time: 10mins or o mins

Cooking time: None or 10 mins

Home kit: large mixing bowl, large frying pan

Away kit: 4 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 4


  • 500g minced lamb
  • 1 egg
  • 2 green chillies, chopped (don’t rub your eyes)
  • 1 tbsp. ground coriander
  • 1 tbsp. garam masala
  • Handful fresh coriander, chopped (or a palmful of dried)
  • Generous pinch of salt
  • A little oil for frying

For serving

  • Chilli sauce
  • 1 stottie

Method: Preheat the oven to 100oC

First half

Put all the ingredients into a large bowl and mix with your hands. When nicely combined take it out of the bowl and onto a clean flat surface like a breadboard and knead it for a while until it becomes smooth and sticky, like dough. Form into four patties.

Second half

Put the stottie on a plate in the oven to warm through.

Put a little oil in a frying pan and fry each of the patties for a couple of minutes on each side. Put them in the oven to rest for 5 mins.

Full time results

While the patties are resting take out the stottie, cut into four and then prise open each quarter. Slop in a little chilli sauce, pop in a rested pattie and eat. With salad if you must.

Extra time

Alternatively, buy some seekh kebabs from the Indian on the way back from the match and stick them in a warmed stottie. With a salad if you must.

Liverpool F.C. ~ Lamb Shankly

Introduction: My recipe for lamb Shankley had to contain red wine AND redcurrant jelly. This recipe requires some degree of self control as there is kitchen jiggery pokery to be done on return from the pub/match. So limit yourself to just the ten pints of lager.

William “Bill” Shankly OBE (2 September 1913 – 29 September 1981) was a Scottish footballer and manager who is best remembered for his management of Liverpool. He is regarded as one of football’s greatest ever managers.

Preparation time: 1 day

Cooking time: 3½-4 hours (easily enough time to go to the match and back)

Home kit: direct heat proof casserole, plate for resting stuff.

Away kit: 4 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 4


  • 1 tbsp. olive oil
  • 4 lamb shanks, trimmed
  • 1 carrot, peeled, cut into four
  • 1 large stick celery, cut into four
  • 1 onion, peeled, cut into four
  • 10 whole peppercorns
  • 3 garlic cloves, peeled, crushed lightly
  • bunch fresh thyme
  • 3 rosemary sprigs
  • A bay leaf, cracked
  • ½ bottle light fruity red wine
  • Same amount (2/3 pint) vegetable stock
  • 6 tbls. Tomato puree
  • Generous pinch sea salt
  • 5 tbsp. redcurrant jelly

Method: Preheat your oven to 160oC TOMORROW!

First half

Heat the oil in the heatproof casserole over a medium high heat and brown the lamb shanks all over, until evenly coloured. This takes about 30 mins. Set them aside.

Reduce the heat and add the carrot, celery, onion. Fry until the onion is soft and translucent. About 5 mins. Add the garlic, fry for another minute and lastly the peppercorns and herbs (put them in a bag if you like to make things easier, no need to strain stuff later).

Pour in the wine and stock, add the tomato puree, pinch of salt and stir it up, now return the shanks to the casserole and set it aside to cool. Chill in the fridge overnight. (This helps to tenderise the meat.)

Second half

The next day (see, told you), preheat the oven to 160oC/325oF/Gas 3. Place the casserole, covered with a lid, into the oven and cook for 2-2½ hours, or until the meat is tender. If you’re back from the pub, slightly uncover the pot for the last hour so that the liquid will start to reduce. If the simmering becomes too lively during cooking, reduce the temperature slightly. Or just leave it covered, it’ll be fine.

Remove the casserole from the oven. Remove the shanks from the cooking liquid and place in a roasting dish. Spoon over a couple of ladles of the cooking liquid to keep the shanks moist. Roast the shanks in the oven for a further 30 minutes, or until the meat is falling off the bone. Take out of the oven cover with foil and leave to rest for about 30 mins.

Extra time

While it’s resting remove the vegetables from the cooking liquid by straining through a sieve. Heat the cooking liquid until boiling, then simmer down until the volume has reduced by half, unless of course you’ve been down the pub for hours and it’s reduced to smithereens already. Stir in the redcurrant jelly until melted.

Full time results

Serve the lamb shanks and reserved vegetables with mashed spuds, seasonal vegetables and the gravy.

Hmmm mmm. Lamb Shankly was made for me and I was made for Lamb Shankly.

Lamb Shankly in the making

I have begun preparations for tomorrow’s Lamb Shankly extravaganza for my friends Jay and Aki.

I have just trimmed the lamb shanks, collected all the marinating ingredients together here;


The trimming was pretty easy to do.  I used the Aussie YouTube instructable here;

Then I heated some olive oil in a big casserole dish and browned the lamb all over, this took about 30 mins.


Then I chucked in the veggies, herbs and wine…


Resulting in this which will be chilling in the fridge overnight.


Ahright! Ahright!

This weekend’s Kickball Cuisine endeavours have already not gone to plan.  I have planned Scoused Herring but, would you believe it, herring is out of season. I didn’t even know fish had seasons.

Anyhow, I have replaced the herring with sea bass which is a whole lot healthier by all accounts and therefore should not under any circumstances be used for Kickball Cuisine!image

The menu I am cooking for my good friend Jay is;

  • Starters – Scoused herring
  • Main course – Lamb Shankley
  • Kop cakes for pudding

Guess which team he supports?

I am pretty sure I have all the ingredients now.  Looking forward to a lovely Liverpool Sunday.  I haven’t decided on the vegetable accompaniments yet.  Any ideas?

I watched the Wigan vs. Man Citeh game last night and was cheering on the new heroes of the Premiership.  A shame they join Reading and QPR in the drop.  But Warren did come up with the name of a dish, Wigan Wheels.