-main course

Hull City A.F.C. ~ Waggy and Chillo con carne

Introduction: Waggy and Chillo are the nicknames of Ken Wagstaff and Chris Chilton. The Hull City AFC goal scoring machine of the late sixties. Ken delivered 197 goals in 434 appearances, while Chris scored 222 goals in 477 appearances. They are both now in their 70’s.


A Chris Chilton quote;

“I’ve just been through a knee operation so that’s two metal hips and a metal knee now,” he said. “They’re just about keeping me together thankfully.

“Waggy, on the other hand, has barely got a scratch on him. That must tell you something about how we played the game!”

And one from Ken;

“I don’t know why the people of Hull took to me so much,” he said. “Maybe it is because of all the goals.

“There was excitement. When we attacked the whole crowd stood up because they expected us to score.”

Preparation time: 15 mins

Cooking time: kickball match (90 mins – 2 hours)

Home kit: oven proof casserole

Away kit: 4 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 4


  • 2 tbsp. olive oil
  • 1 lb. ground steak or chuck steak cut into bite sized chunks.
  • 1 large onion, peeled and finely chopped
  • 1 green pepper, seeded and chopped into bite sized chunks (Sheils prefers red AND green)
  • 5 cloves of garlic, skinned and crushed
  • 1 tin tomatoes
  • 1 tin kidney beans with chilli sauce
  • 7 red chillies
  • 1 tbsp. paprika
  • 1 tbsp. ground cumin
  • Large pinch of salt
  • 1 square dark chocolate (not the whole bar Jules Hargreaves!)

Method: Preheat the oven to 170oC

First half

Heat the oil in the casserole and bung in the onions to cook for a few minutes until soft, not caramelized. Then add the green pepper and the garlic, fry for a couple mins and add the beef. Continue frying until the beef is browned. Stir in the tomatoes, chillies, paprika and cumin. Bring to the boil, bung in the kidney beans and large pinch of salt.

Second half

Then into the oven for between 1½ to 2 hours. And, as the waggo on the tail of this recipe stir in the square of dark chocolate.

Full time results

Serve with baked potatoes and Cheese Bruce.

CRYSTAL PALACE F.C. ~ Crystal Plaice

Introduction: The club was founded at The Crystal Palace in 1905, they played home games at The Crystal Palace which of course led to their nickname, “The Glaziers”. Palace became founder members of the Premier League in 1992 and they achieved promotion back to the Premier League under the excellent guidance of Ian Holloway in May 2013.


This is a slightly curried recipe redolent of kedgeree. The rice takes longer to cook than the plaice so put that on first.

Preparation time: 5 mins

Cooking time: 5 mins

Home kit: a large saucepan

Away kit: 4 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 4


  • 4 plaice fillets, halved lengthways
  • ½ pint (300 ml) milk
  • 1 teaspoon curry powder
  • 1 teaspoon chutney
  • Generous pinch of sea salt


First half

Roll up the fillet strips. Put the milk into the saucepan, stir in the curry powder, chutney, salt and bring to the boil.

Second half

Place the fish rolls in the pan, return to the boil and simmer very gently for 5 minutes, until the fish flakes.

Full time results

Serve with boiled rice.

Wigan Athletic F.C. ~ Jewell Ruby Murray

Introduction: Paul Jewell (born 28 September 1964) is a former English footballer and manager.

In June 2001, Jewell returned to Wigan Athletic as manager, he had played for them making 137 league appearances and scoring 35 goals. In the 2002–03 season the club won the Division Two championship. They were near the top of Division One throughout the 2003–04 and then on the final day of the 2004–05 Championship season, Jewell’s Athletic side clinched promotion to the Premiership bringing top flight football to the Lancashire town for the first time.

On the final day of the 2006–07 season, Jewell steered Wigan safe from relegation after a win against Sheffield United at Bramall Lane on 13 May 2007. A day later, Jewell resigned as Wigan manager. Shame.

My grandfather used to put dried prawns in with his beef dishes but I have only just found a supplier for them so I have never tried them.

Preparation time: 20mins

Cooking time: 2 hours

Home kit: large shallow casserole, medium bowl and a pestle and mortar.

Away kit: 4 plates, 4 spoons (curry should be eaten with a spoon)

Serves: 4


  • 2 lb. stewing beef, cut into 1 inch cubes
  • A thumb of ginger
  • ½ a bulb of garlic
  • ¾ pint of water
  • 10 tablespoons (160 ml) vegetable oil
  • 10 cardamom pods
  • 2 bay leaves
  • 10 whole black pepper corns
  • 1 inch cinnamon stick
  • 1 large onion
  • 1 tsp. coriander seeds
  • 1 tsp. cumin seeds
  • 5 tsp. bright red paprika
  • 2 tsp. hot chilli powder
  • A generous pinch of salt (for grinding)
  • 2 tbsp. tomato puree
  • Freshly ground black pepper

Method: Preheat the oven to 180oC

First half

Put the coriander and cumin seeds into the pestle and mortar with the pinch of salt and do a little grind.

Heat the oil in the casserole over a medium flame. Brown the meat in batches and set aside in the bowl. Do a little grind…

Add the cardamom, bay leaves, pepper corns and cinnamon into the same oil. Stir once. After a few seconds tip in the onion, fry them until golden brown and caramelized. This is important to the taste and will take about 5 mins. Do a little grind…

Now add the ginger and garlic and fry for a further 30 seconds. Add the newly ground coriander and cumin along with the paprika and chilli. Roast these in the oil for a further 30 seconds. Now return the meat and scooch it about in the spices carefully coating each piece.

Second half

The spices will have stuck a bit at this point so pour in the water (careful it will sizzle) and use a wooden spoon to sloosh them off the bottom of the pan. Add the tomato puree and mix that in too. Bring to the boil and stick the casserole in the oven and leave to fester for 2 hours.

Full time results

Serve with pure white boiled basmati rice to contrast with the deep red of the gravy.

N.B. If you turn down the oven temp to 170oC you can leave this in the oven for an entire visit to your local stadium and it’ll be none the worse for wear.  Though you might need someone else to prepare the rice for you.

West Ham United F.C. ~ Sir Geoff BratHursts with Sauerkraut

Introduction: Sir Geoffrey Charles “Geoff” Hurst MBE (born 8 December 1941) is a former England international footballer. A striker, he remains the only man to score a hat-trick in a World Cup final as England recorded a 4–2 victory over West Germany at the old Wembley in 1966. He made many Germans very sour.


I met Sir Geoff a while ago at a Teenage Cancer Trust fund raising event, I am probably the only Englishman since 1966 who failed to recognise him.  Sorry Stevie…

Preparation time: 10mins

Cooking time: 20 + 10 mins

Home kit: large saucepan, colander and grill

Away kit: 4 plates

Serves: 4


  • 6 fresh bratwurst
  • 2 (440 ml) cans beer/lager
  • 6 soft hot dog buns, split and toasted
  • English mustard
Sauerkraut Relish:
  • 3 Tbs. vinegar
  • 1 Tbs. sugar
  • 1 tsp. pickling spice
  • 1 tsp. caraway seed
  • A can sauerkraut, drained
  • ¼ finely chopped red pepper

Method: Preheat the grill to medium heat

First half

Prick several holes in the skin of each sausage. Put the bratwurst and beer into the saucepan and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat, cover and simmer for about 20 minutes until no longer pink. Drain into the colander and set aside to cool.

Now, in the same pan stir together the vinegar and sugar, cook until sugar is dissolved. Add the pickling spice, caraway seeds, drained sauerkraut and pepper. Stir again briefly, cover and allow to cool.

Second half

Grill the bratHursts under the medium heat, turning frequently until the skins are golden brown. This will take between 5 and 10 minutes.

Full time results

Serve in the buns with mustard and the relish while watching international kickball on the tele between Germany and England.


West Bromwich Albion F.C. ~ Baggie Beeff Astle

Introduction: Jeffrey “Jeff” Astle (13 May 1942 – 19 January 2002) was an English footballer. He played 361 games for West Bromwich Albion, scoring 174 goals, and was one of the most iconic players in the history of the club. He also won five caps for England, but did not score any goals. The Albion fans nicknamed him “The King”.


He would appear on the TV show “Fantasy Football League” with Skinner and Baddiel where he would sing during the closing credits. Jeff Astle is celebrated on the gates of the Hawthorns.

This recipe is based on a traditional Staffordshire beef lobby, The King of stews.

Preparation time: 20 mins

Cooking time: 40 mins first half then 1 hour in the second half

Home kit: Large casserole dish

Away kit: 4 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 4


  • 450g/1lb stewing or braising steak – fat removed and cut into small chunks
  • A handful pearl barley
  • 1 onion diced
  • 1-2 cloves of garlic, crushed
  • 4 potatoes diced
  • 1 swede diced (the big orange fleshed ones not the little white ones)
  • 4 celery sticks, chopped
  • 4 diced carrots
  • Beef stock

Method: Preheat the oven to 180oC

First half

Put the meat, onion and pearl barley in the casserole and cover with water. Bring to the boil and then simmer gently on a very low heat for 40 mins. Stir occasionally to prevent it from sticking. Meanwhile peel and chop the vegetables to dice of a similar size.

Second half

Add the vegetables to the casserole and top up with stock to cover the vegetables. Bung in the oven for approximately 60 mins or until everything is softly cooked and the meat is tender. Season to taste.

Full time results

Serve in big bowls with chunky bread.

Cardiff City F.C. ~ Ninian Pork belly

Introduction: Ninian Park is named after Lieutenant-Colonel Lord Ninian Crichton-Stuart (15 May 1883 – 2 October 1915) and was the home ground for Cardiff until 2009.


The stadium hosted a number of Welsh international fixtures. The last ever Cardiff City match played at there was a 3-0 defeat by Ipswich Town. The last player for Cardiff City to score at Ninian Park was Ross McCormack in a 3-1 victory over Burnley.

This the my friend Rodders’ preferred method of cooking pork belly.  He is a very good cook and will enjoy the association with Lieutenant-Colonel Lord Ninian Crichton-Stuart.

Preparation time: 20 mins with 45 mins drying time

Cooking time: 3 hours 30 mins

Home kit: large deep sided baking tray with wire rack.

Away kit: 6 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 6


  • 1.5kg (3¼ lb.) pork belly
  • Lots of salt, preferably Maldon sea salt but it isn’t critical.

Method: Preheat the oven to 220oC then turn down to 170oC

First half

Using a small sharp knife, score lines into the skin (cutting into the fat) about 1cm (½in) apart, but not so deep that you cut into the meat. Pat the pork completely dry, then leave uncovered at room temperature to air dry for about 45 minutes.

Second half

Rub lots of salt over the pork skin. Put the pork, skin-side up, on the rack, roast for 30min. Rodders puts his at the top of the oven. Then turn down the oven temperature to 170°C (150°C fan) and continue cooking for 3 hours. Rodders puts his at the bottom of the oven for this bit – the crackling should turn crisp and golden.

Transfer pork to a board and use a sharp knife to slice off the crackling in one piece (about the outer 2cm/¾in). Cover the pork meat loosely with foil and leave to rest for 30-40min.

Full time results

Cut the crackling into six long strips, then cut the pork belly into six neat squares. Serve each square topped with a strip of crackling, roast spuds and cauliflower cheese.

Swansea City A.F.C. ~ Swanseafood paella

Introduction: Swansea City Association Football Club (Welsh: Clwb Pêl-droed Dinas Abertawe) is a Welsh professional football club based in the city of Swansea, South Wales. They play in the Premier League. Swansea City represent England when playing in European competitions, although they have represented Wales in the past. They play their home matches at the Liberty Stadium.

Paella is a Valencian rice dish that originated in its modern form in the mid-19th century near lake Albufera. I viewed paella as Spain’s national dish, but most Spaniards consider it to be a regional Valencian dish. Valencians, in turn, regard paella as one of their identifying symbols.

Preparation time: 5 mins

Cooking time: 50 mins

Home kit: large sauce pan with a lid, slotted spoon,

Away kit: 4 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 4


  • 150g sliced chorizo
  • 1 medium onion, finely chopped
  • 225g paella rice
  • 750ml (1¼ pints) hot chicken or vegetable stock
  • 250g pack precooked seafood selection

Method: Preheat the oven to 70oC to warm the plates

First half

Gently fry the chorizo to release the oil, then turn up the heat to medium and cook until brown. Remove with the slotted spoon and set aside.

Turn down the heat again and add the onion to the same pan and fry gently in the oil from the chorizo for about 15 minutes until softened. Add the paella rice and cook for a minute, stirring to coat in the oil. Return the chorizo to the pan, then pour in the stock and simmer gently for 20–25min until the rice is tender and the stock is absorbed.

Second half

Add the seafood selection, cover the pan and turn off the heat. Leave to stand for 5 minutes until the seafood is heated through. You must use pre-cooked seafood selection unless you live on the coast and have access to the very freshest seafood. Somewhere like Swansea!

Full time results

Serve on the warmed plates. Should these be bowls?

Sunderland A.F.C. ~ Stadium of light bite

Introduction: The Stadium of Light is an all-seater football stadium with space for 49,000 spectators. According to Sir Bob Murray the name “was chosen for 2 main reasons; namely as an ever-lasting tribute to the region’s mine-workers and proud industrial heritage and in the expectation that the stadium would be a guiding light in the future. The name is very much a symbolic link to the thousands of miners and Sunderland supporters that emerged from the darkness and into the light every day when they returned to the surface after working in the mine.”

A Davy lamp monument stands at the entrance to reflect the coal mining industry that brought prosperity to the town.

The origins of this dish start in Front Road, Ford Estate, Sunderland by families of Irish immigrants. The Wearside Panaculty uses tinned corned beef, onion, sliced potatoes and gravy. Here it is baked in the oven in a casserole dish.

Preparation time: 20mins

Cooking time: 1.5 hours then an hour and a bit

Home kit: large shallow casserole dish, measuring jug

Away kit: 4 bowls, knives and forks

Serves: 4


  • 1½ lbs. potatoes, peeled and thickly sliced
  • 1 large onion, thin slices
  • 1 can of corned beef, sliced
  • 10 oz. frozen mixed vegetables
  • 4 rashers of bacon, remove the rind and cut in half
  • 1 pint of thick brown gravy, preferably left over from Sunday lunch.

Method: Preheat the oven to 150oC

First half

Sprinkle some of the vegetables into the bottom of your casserole, then a layer of the onion slices, a layer of potatoes covering the entire base of the casserole. Break up 2-3 slices of the corned beef and spread over the potatoes. Add more mixed vegetables, then another layer of onions and another layer of potatoes. Now the rashers of bacon go on then another layer of corned beef, mixed vegetables, onions and finish with a potato layer.

So the layers are;

    1. Vegetables
    2. Onion
    3. Potatoes
    4. Corned beef
    5. Vegetables
    6. Onion
    7. Potatoes
    8. Bacon and corned beef
    9. Vegetables
    10. Onion
    11. Potatoes

Once you have finished all the layers, carefully pour on the cold gravy, this should fill the casserole to about 3/4 full. Pour in some water if it does not. Cover and bake in the oven for 1.5 hours/1 kickball match.

Go to the game.

Second half

Upon return from the match turn up the temperature up to 180oC. Bake for a further 45 minutes while you have another pint or two. Remove the casserole lid and return to the oven to crisp up the top layer (usually another 15-20 minutes). Be careful to check the dish regularly at this point as the gravy may dry out. Sprinkle a little water on if necessary.

Full time results

Stick in the serving bowls and serve with crusty bread.

Sunderland A.F.C. ~ Ian Porterfield steak

Introduction: John “Ian” Porterfield (11 February 1946 – 11 September 2007) was a Scottish professional footballer and football coach who worked at both club and international level for almost 30 years.  He joined Sunderland in 1967 and stayed for 10 years, appearing 229 times and scoring 17 goals.

Mr. Porterfield scored the only goal of the 1973 FA Cup Final as Bob Stokoe’s Sunderland overcame the odds to beat Don Revie’s all conquering Leeds United.


(Clearly a thriller as I think I see Michael Jackson in goal…)

A Porterhouse steak is a T-bone steak and it should be at least an inch and a half thick before cooking and should be grilled on a barbecue at a furious heat.

Preparation time: 1 hour (surprised?)

Cooking time: 4 mins with 5 mins resting

Home kit: barbecue or cast iron griddle if it’s raining, fire alarm

Away kit: 2 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 2


  • 2 porterhouse/T-bone steaks
  • Generous pinch of sea salt
  • Lots of freshly ground black pepper

Method: Preheat the oven to 70oC for resting

First half

Take the steaks out of the fridge at least one hour before cooking. Put them on kitchen roll to keep the surface dry, this helps sear the outside of the meat when cooking.

Second half

Light the barbecue or put the griddle on a HIGH heat and wait until REALY, REALLY hot. Season with the salt and pepper and bung on the steaks. Leave for 1 minute. Use a timer and don’t jiggle the meat, the idea here is to create a tasty, dark crust which will only form if you leave well alone. After a minute flip. After another minute flip and turn, you are trying to create a goal net appearance on the surface of your steak. One more minute and flip again.

Place in the oven to rest for at least five minutes. If it’s a big steak you can leave it for up to 10 minutes.

N.B. If you are cooking indoors and have not set off the fire alarms then you’re doing it wrong.

Full time results

Serve with roast tomatoes, chips and lettuce. Don’t eat the lettuce. Umami!