Milk

Crystal Palace F.C. ~ Wright’s pudding

Introduction: Ian Edward Wright, MBE (born 3 November 1963, Woolwich, London) is a former English professional footballer turned television and radio personality and currently part-time first-team coach of Milton Keynes Dons. He played 225-253 (I’m not sure which) games for Crystal Palace between 1985 and 1991 scoring 117 goals in all competitions. He was voted into their Centenary XI and named their “Player of The Century” in 2005.

image

Crystal Palace talent scout Pete Prentice saw Wright in a local Sunday-league match playing for Greenwich Borough and invited him for a trial at Selhurst Park. He impressed Steve Coppell, and signed for Crystal Palace in August 1985 where he was paid £100-a-week.  The transfer fee?  He was swapped for a set of weights.

I like that he is a Millwall supporter and has been since he was a boy. Perhaps we will meet there one day.

Preparation time: 10mins

Cooking time: 2½ hours

Home kit: 1½ pint ovenproof dish,

Away kit: 4 plates, spoons

Serves: 4

Ingredients

  • 2 oz. (50 g) pudding rice
  • 1 pint (568 ml) whole milk
  • 2 tbsp. golden caster sugar
  • Zest of ½ a lemon
  • grated nutmeg, a whole one
  • 1 tbsp. butter

Method: Preheat the oven to 150oC

First half

Wash the rice and drain well. Put into the dish and stir in the milk. Leave the rice to soak and soften for about 30 minutes. Add the sugar and lemon zest and stir it up. Grate the nutmeg onto the surface and dot with the butter.

Second half

Bake in the oven for 2½ hours stirring it once after 30 minutes. Then leave well alone to allow the skin to form.

Full time results

Allow to cool and serve making sure that everyone has an equal portion of the lovely golden skin.

Advertisements

Cardiff City F.C. ~ Malky Mackay Cakes

Introduction: Malcolm George “Malky” Mackay (born 19 February 1972) is a Scottish football manager and former player. He played as a defender and began his career in Scottish football with Queen’s Park and Celtic. He also won five caps for Scotland.

Malky Mackay

He was the manager of Cardiff City from June 2011 to December 2013. He had a very successful two and a half years there taking them from the Championship to the Premier league for the first time in their history.

This recipe is for Welsh cakes or Pice ar y maen, a teatime treat passed on through generations and still as popular as ever.

Preparation time: 10mins

Cooking time: 10 mins

Home kit: food processor, scone cutter, large mixing bowl and a griddle, not got a griddle? A large frying pan will do. A spatula

Away kit: 4 side plates, knives and forks

Serves: 3-4 This makes about 12

Ingredients

  • 8oz/225g self raising flour
  • teaspoon salt
  • teaspoon grated nutmeg
  • 4oz/110g butter
  • 4oz/110g caster sugar
  • 1 large egg beaten
  • 2-3 tablespoons milk
  • 2oz/55g sultanas

Method: Preheat the oven to 100oC

First half

Sieve together the flour, salt and nutmeg into a food processor. Cut a slice of hard butter, direct from the fridge, into the processor and whiz to the texture of fine crumbs. Add the sugar, and whiz in the egg and two tablespoons milk. Tip this mixture into the bowl, and add the sultanas. Knead briefly to a stiff dough – if it is crumbly, then add the third tablespoon of milk at this point to make it smooth. On a lightly floured surface, roll out the dough until it is about ½ inch thick. Cut into rounds using a scone cutter.

Second half

Heat a griddle, and rub it with butter. If you don’t possess a griddle, use a heavy frying pan instead. When it is very hot put the rounds of Welsh cake mixture onto this, and cook until brown on the underneath. Turn them over and cook on their other side. Remove them with the spatula to the wire rack to cool.

Full time results

Butter and eat with a nice cup of tea at half time.

Swansea City A.F.C. ~ Jack Tarts

Introduction: There are a number of possible reasons why Swansea are known as the Jacks. First, there was a famous dog, a Labrador retriever or newfoundland, owned by William Thomas. The dog would always respond to cries for help, diving into the water and rescuing whoever was in difficulty. He rescued 27 people from the docks and River Tawe in and around Swansea; his name was Swansea Jack. Second, the derivation may come from the nickname given to Swansea’s skilled and dependable mariners. And third, a theory exists that the coal miners from there abouts were called Swansea “Jacks” because of their lunch-boxes that were uniquely made of Swansea tin and called Jacks. Who knows? I like the shaggy dog story myself.

Here are William Thomas and Swansea Jack.

Preparation time: 10mins

Cooking time: 10 mins

Home kit: 12-hole muffin tray, large mixing bowl, large frying pan

Away kit: 1 serving plate

Serves: might be 12 but it’s unlikely, they are exceedingly good.

Ingredients

  • butter, for greasing
  • 3 egg yolks
  • 125g/4½ oz. caster sugar
  • 30g/1oz cornflour
  • 1 vanilla pod, split, seeds scraped out
  • 175ml/6fl oz. whole milk
  • 225ml/8fl oz. double cream
  • 300g/10½ oz. puff pastry
  • plain flour, for dusting
  • icing sugar, for dusting

Method: Preheat the oven to 180oC

First half

Grease the wells of a 12-hole muffin tray with butter.

Heat the egg yolks, sugar and cornflour in the pan over a low heat, whisking continuously until thickened and smooth. Add the vanilla seeds, then add the milk and cream in a thin stream, whisking continuously, until the mixture is thick, smooth and well combined. Turn up the heat a little and continue to stir the custard mixture until it comes to the boil, then remove from the heat and cover the surface with cling film to prevent a skin forming and allow to cool.

Second half

Roll out the puff pastry onto a clean work surface lightly dusted with flour and icing sugar. Cut the pastry in half and place one sheet on top of the other. Roll the pastry sheets up like a Swiss roll and cut the roll into twelve slices. Lay each of the rolled pastry slices flat onto the work surface and roll out into 10cm/4in discs using a rolling pin.

Press a pastry disc into each of the wells of the prepared muffin tray. Divide the cooled custard equally among the pastry cases.

Into the oven to bake the tarts for 18-20 minutes, or until the custard has set and is pale golden-brown and the pastry is crisp and golden-brown. Remove from the oven and allow to cool in the tin.

Full time results

Serve on the plate with a nice cup of tea at half time in front of the tele.

Southampton F.C. ~ St. Mary’s Jelly

Introduction: St Mary’s Stadium is the home of Southampton F.C. in the lovely city of Southampton. It is a UEFA 4-star rated stadium and with a capacity of 32,689 is the largest football stadium in the south of England, outside London.

image

The Saints have played there since August 2001 when they moved from The Dell, which for held just over 15,000 spectators. The first match was played on 1 August 2001 against RCD Espanyol.

I have been to this stadium when I watched The Millwall from the stands. I was completely dressed in black for style purposes on that eventful day.

Here’s a strawberry and cream recipe for the colours.

Preparation time: 20mins

Cooking time: 5 mins

Home kit: large jug, 2.7 litre (4¾ pint) non-stick kugelhopf mould (ha!) or large bowl (more likely), medium saucepan, another bowl

Away kit: 11 plates and spoons

Serves: a kickball team

Ingredients

  • 2 x 135g packs strawberry jelly, Hartley’s is recommended.
  • ⅛ tsp. edible gold glitter, optional for the next FA Cup Final win.
  • Light oil for greasing, optional
  • 100g (3½oz) caster sugar
  • 1 vanilla pod, split lengthways
  • 300ml (½ pint) double cream
  • 600ml (1 pint) milk
  • 8 gelatine sheets

Method: Preheat the oven to 0oC (It’s a jelly!)

First half

Start by making the jelly. Snip the jelly into cubes and put into the large jug. Pour over 300ml (½ pint) boiling water and leave to dissolve, stirring occasionally. Top up the mixture with cold water until there is 1.2 litre (2⅛ pint). Stir in the glitter, if using.

Pour the strawberry jelly mixture into the kugelhopf mould or large bowl (if non-stick, grease lightly with the mild oil). Chill until completely set, which will take about three hours or one kickball match.

Second half

Meanwhile put the sugar, vanilla, cream and milk into a pan and heat gently, whisking occasionally to help release the vanilla seeds, until mixture just begins to boil. Take off the heat and leave to infuse for 15min.

Put the gelatine sheets into a bowl and cover with cold water. Leave to soak for 5min. Lift the soaked gelatine out of the water (discard water) and add to the cream pan – stir to dissolve (if the cream mixture is not hot enough to dissolve the gelatine, then reheat gently until it dissolves). Lift out the vanilla pod and leave the cream mixture until completely cool –the strawberry jelly needs to be fully set before proceeding.

Gently pour the cream mixture over the set jelly and refrigerate to set completely – about 5hrs. Or two games of kickball.

Full time results

To serve, turn out the jelly on to a serving plate. If it doesn’t come out easily, dip the base of the mould briefly into a bowl of hot water (take care that the water does not touch the jelly). Turn out and serve.

Queens Park Rangers F.C. ~ Queens Pork Bangers with Terry Vegetables

Introduction: Queens Park Rangers Football Club were founded in 1886 after the merger of Christchurch Rangers and St. Judes Institute. Their traditional colours are blue and white. In the early years after the club’s formation in their original home of Queen’s Park, games were played at many different grounds until finally the club settled into their current location at Loftus Road. Owing to their proximity to other west London clubs, QPR maintain long-standing rivalries with several other clubs in the area. The most notable of these are Chelsea, Fulham and Brentford, with whom they contest what are known as West London Derbies.

File:Queens Park Rangers badge.png

The stylish pre-2008 badge

Terence Frederick “Terry” Venables (born 6 January 1943 in Dagenham), often referred to as “El Tel”, is an English former football player and manager, as well as being a media pundit. During the 1960s and 70s, he played for various clubs including Chelsea, Tottenham Hotspur and Queens Park Rangers, and gained two caps for England and he managed Queens Park Rangers as well as being a director of the club.

El Tel has also co-authored four novels with writer Gordon Williams and is the co-creator of the ITV detective series Hazell, about a fictional private detective named James Hazell.

Preparation time: 10mins

Cooking time: 30ish mins

Home kit: large frying pan, large saucepan, medium saucepan and a colander (it’s the bowl with holes in it)

Away kit: 4 warmed plates, knives and forks

Serves: 4

Ingredients

  • ½ tbsp. vegetable oil
  • 8 good-quality pork sausages
  • 900g (2lb) Désirée potatoes, cut into chunks
  • 40g (1½oz) butter
  • 1 large leek, thinly sliced
  • 3tbsp milk
  • 1tbsp wholegrain mustard
  • 4tbsp red onion marmalade

Method: Preheat the oven to 90oC and put in the plates

First half

Heat the oil in the large frying pan and quickly brown the sausages over a high heat, turning often. Turn the heat down to its lowest setting and leave to cook gently for 20 to 30 minutes until cooked through, turning every so often.

While you keep an eye on them, put the potatoes into the large pan with salted water, cover, bring to the boil, then reduce the heat and simmer for 15-20min until tender. Shove them in the colander and leave to steam dry for a couple of minutes – this stops your mash turning watery.

Second half

Now concentrate here; in the medium saucepan melt half the butter and fry the leek over a gentle heat, covered, for about 25mins until softened.

Melt the remaining butter in the now empty potato pan and add the milk. Add the potatoes and mash until creamy. Stir in the leek and mustard.

Full time results

Slop the mashed spuds onto the warmed plates, I  like to stick the sausages into the mash and spoon on the red onion marmalade.

[There are not too many Terry Vegetables I hope you agree.]

Queens Park Rangers F.C. ~ Cherry Flancis

Introduction: Gerald Charles James “Gerry” Francis (born 6 December 1951) is an English former footballer and manager.

Francis made his debut for Queens Park Rangers v Liverpool in March 1969. He was captain and central midfield player during the 1970s and was a key player in the QPR side which came within a hair’s breadth of their first-ever league title in 1976. He won 12 caps for the England team between 1974 and 1976, and was captain for eight of those matches.

Preparation time: 40mins

Cooking time: 40 mins

Home kit: large and small mixing bowls, large pie dish

Away kit: 4-6 plates and spoons

Serves: 4-6

Ingredients

  • ¾ lb. black cherries, washed and stems removed (leave the stones in)
  • ½ cup sugar
  • 1 tbsp. butter
  • ¾ cup flour, sifted
  • 1 pinch salt
  • 2 eggs, beaten
  • 1 cup milk
  • Caster sugar

Method: Preheat the oven to 180oC

First half

Put the cherries in a bowl, sprinkle with ¼ cup of the sugar, and let marinate for 30 minutes. Butter a deep pie dish. Put the flour, salt and remaining ¼ cup sugar in the large bowl. Add the eggs and mix in followed by the milk and another thorough mixing.

Second half

Put the cherries in the pie pan and pour in the batter. Stick it in the oven and bake for 35-40 minutes or until golden. Dust with the caster sugar.

Full time results

Allow to cook, stick on plate, eat

Note: The traditional method is to not pit the cherries. Leaving the stones in keeps the cherries very juicy. However, you can de-pit them if you so desire. But if you do leave them in, be sure to let your guests know before eating. Unless they support Chelsea, Fulham and Brentford.

Tottenham Hotspur F.C. ~ Bill Nicholbuns

Introduction: William Edward “Bill” Nicholson OBE (26 January 1919 – 23 October 2004) player, coach, manager and scout who had a 36-year association with Spurs.

He joined the Spurs ground staff in 1936 and signed as a professional there when he was eighteen. Then he joined the Durham Light infantry at the outbreak of the second world war becoming a Sergeant Instructor where he learned training and man management techniques. He returned to Tottenham Hotspur in 1946 to play 314 games and scoring six goals. He was a key part of the “push and run” team that won the 1950-51 league championship. 

He managed Tottenham Hotspur from 1958 to 1974, leading them to the first League/FA cup double of the twentieth century in 59/60, the first British team to win the European Cup in 1963, winning the first all London FA Cup final against Chelsea, the League Cup again in 1971 and 73 and UEFA Cup in 1972.  Does this make him the most important figure in Spurs history?

And so to the recipe…  There are two ways of preparing these buns, the American way is to put them directly onto the baking sheet, the Swedish way is to put them into bun cases on the baking tray.  You can choose case/no case.  It’s up to you but this is mostly the Swedish approach.

Preparation time: 30 mins

Rising time: 90 mins

Cooking time: 6-8 mins

Home kit: large mixing bowl, cling film, baking sheet, tea towel

Away kit: Cake stand

Serves: a kickball team

Ingredients

  • one sachet of dried yeast
  • 175g butter (75g for the dough, 100g for the filling)
  • 250ml milk
  • 150g granulated sugar (50g for the dough, 100g for the filling and a bit extra for sprinkling)
  • a pinch salt
  • 1 teaspoon ground cardamom
  • 500g flour
  • 1 egg
  • 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
  • Some water

Method: the oven needs pre-heating in extra time

First half

Put the yeast in a bowl and stir in a few tablespoons of milk. Melt 75g of butter and pour in the milk, now add 50g of the granulated sugar, salt, cardamom and flour. Knead the dough for 10-15mins.  Cover the bowl with cling film and let the dough rise at room temperature for half an hour.

Second half

Roll out the dough to about 3mm thick and 30cm wide. Spread the rest of the room-temperature butter on top. Make a mixture of the rest of the sugar and the cinnamon and sprinkle it over the dough.

Roll the dough lengthwise to make a Swiss roll affair, cut the roll into about 25 slices. Place them with the cut edge facing up into bun cases on the baking sheet and let them rise under a tea towel for about an hour or until the buns have doubled in size.

Extra time: preheat the oven to 250oC

Beat together the egg and 2 tablespoons of water, brush the mixture carefully over the buns and sprinkle sugar on top to finish.

Bake in the pre-heated oven for 6-8mins. Allow to cool on a wire rack.

Full time results

Arrange on cake stand and scoff with afternoon tea or coffee at half time.

Manchester United F.C. ~ Paul Schones

Introduction: Paul Scholes is an exemplary kickballer playing for Manchester United and an excellent cricketer in his day. He started training for Manchester United at the age of 14.  He has played 499 matches for them, scoring 107 goals.

He has also represented England from 1997 to 2004 earning 66 caps. One of the best kickballing midfielders of his generation during which he amassed some 120 bookings. He has retired twice.

image

He is an asthmatic and has a knee condition with the excellent name of Osgood–Schlatter disease, which sounds a little Chelsea-esque to me. He does a lot of work encouraging the youth of Manchester by making school appearances and is a strong supporter of the Hearts And Minds Challenge charity that is looking to build a centre of education for autism.

A savage on the field; a saint off it.

Preparation time: 30 mins

Cooking time: 20 mins

Home kit: non-stick baking sheet, food processer, medium mixing bowl

Away kit: A serving plate

Serves: 8

Ingredients

  • 225g/8oz self-raising flour
  • Half a teaspoon of salt
  • 55g/2oz cold butter, diced
  • 30g/1oz caster sugar
  • 150ml/5floz milk
  • 115g/4oz chopped dried apricots (ginger you see)

Method: Preheat the oven to 200oC

First Half

Lightly oil a non-stick baking sheet.

Sift the flour and salt into a food processor. Add the butter, whiz to fine crumbs, and then tip the mixture into a bowl. Otherwise, sift the flour and salt into a bowl and, using your fingertips, rub the butter into the flour until it resembles fine breadcrumbs.

Stir in the sugar and the dried apricots, then add the milk and mix until it forms a soft, spongy dough.

Turn out onto a lightly floured surface and gently knead until it is just smooth. The raising agent starts to work as soon as the liquid is added, so it’s essential to be quick.

Second Half

Roll out the dough to about 2.5cm (an inch) thick. Dust a 7cm (2¾ inch) diameter pastry cutter in flour and quickly stamp out your scones.  Place the scones on the baking sheet and bake for 20 minutes until well risen and brown.

Full time results

Allow to cool a little and serve warm with a nice cup of tea at half time.

Manchester City F.C. ~ Kompany casserole

Introduction: Vincent Jean Mpoy Kompany, is a very nice Belgian chap and captain of Manchester Citeh.

That is how you spell it according to my friend and fervent Citeh supporter Phil Clews.

Mr. Kompany is an ambassador for the SOS Children’s villages charity that provides education and safe accommodation for children living in poverty in the Democratic Republic of Congo, where his dad comes from. He is listed 23rd in the world’s top 100 kickball players.

This recipe is ideally suited to a kickball day. You make it on the day before and stick it in the fridge to fester. It cooks best from a cold oven so you can set the oven to finish cooking when you get back from the match/pub (ask a young person how to do this).

Preparation time: 20 mins

Cooking time: 1 hour + 20 mins to brown

Home kit; Large frying pan, large and quite deep 13″x9″ baking tray, medium mixing bowl

Away kit: 8 warmed plates, knives and forks

Serves: 8

Ingredients

  • 1 lb. Grated potatoes
  • 1 onion, chopped or grated
  • 1 lb. ground pork sausage meat, browned in a frying pan and drained
  • 1 green pepper, chopped
  • 4 oz. sliced mushrooms (or a small tin, drained)
  • 4 oz. grated Cheddar cheese
  • 1 doz. eggs
  • ½ pint whole milk (none of that skimmed rubbish!)
  • Salt and pepper to taste

Method: Don’t preheat the oven

First half

Spread half of the grated potatoes in the lightly greased baking tray, tin or glass it does not matter. Then layer on half the onion, all the sausage meat, the remaining onion, green pepper, mushrooms and half the cheese. In the bowl, whisk together the eggs, milk and seasonings. Pour this mixture over the casserole; top with remaining grated potatoes and cheese. Cover with cooking foil and refrigerate overnight.

Second half

Place the casserole in a cold oven and bake, covered, at 180oC for about an hour. Uncover and bake for a final 20 minutes to brown the top, test by inserting a knife into the centre,  if it comes out nice and clean we’re done.

Full time result

Serve at once on warmed plates with nothing, it’ a meal in itself.

Aston Villa F.C. ~ Aston Vanilla pudding

Introduction: Aston Villa Football Club are based in Witton, Birmingham. The club was founded in March 1874 by Jack Hughes, Frederick Matthews, Walter Price and William Scattergood. They have played at Villa Park since 1897. Aston Villa were founder members of The Football League in 1888. They have the fourth highest total of major honours won by any English club.

File:Aston Villa.svg

The first villa match was against Aston Brook St Mary’s Rugby team. The first half was played under rugby rules, the second under football.  That was truly a game of two halves.

Preparation time: 5 mins

Cooking time: 10 mins

Home kit: a medium saucepan

Away kit:  4 pudding bowls and spoons

Cooling time: 1 kickball match and a bit

Serves: 4

Ingredients

  • 2 large eggs
  • ⅔ cup sugar
  • ¼ cup flour
  • 1 tsp. vanilla extract
  • 2 cups milk
  • ½ Tbsp. butter (optional, but I think it adds a richness to the pudding)

Method:

First half

Combine the eggs, sugar, flour, and vanilla in the saucepan with a whisk. Add the milk, whisking as you go, until everything is silky and smooth. cook on a medium heat, stirring frequently, until the mixture comes to a boil and thickens. Stir in the optional butter until melted.

Second half

Remove from heat, pour into a container and allow to cool before eating.

It tastes great cold, but I think it’s Villainous when warm.