Pastry

Hull City A.F.C. ~ Boothberry Tart

Introduction: Boothferry Park was the cherished home of Hull City AFC for over 50 years from 31 August 1946 until December 2002.  Sadly, it is not so cherished now…

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Hull City’s record home attendance was 55,019 at this stadium for a match against Manchester United on 26th February 1949. A record which will never be beaten as the new seated stadium only has a capacity of less than half of that at 25,586.

Preparation time: 10 mins

Cooking time: 45 mins

Home kit: 11in x 7in loose-bottomed tart tin, blind baking beans (No they are not beans that are blind, Google them!), small saucepan, large mixing bowl

Away kit: 4 pudding bowls and forks

Serves: 4

Ingredients

  • 375g (13oz) shortcrust pastry
  • 100g (4oz) butter
  • 100g (4oz) caster sugar
  • 3 eggs
  • 100g (4oz) ground almonds
  • 50g (2oz) toasted almonds
  • Blueberry jam
  • 125g (4½ oz.) blueberries

Method: Preheat the oven to 190oC

First half

Roll out the pastry and line the tart tin. Prick the base and line with foil and the baking beans, make sure the beans go right into the corners, well not corners but you know what I mean. Chill for 15 mins by listening to some Amy Winehouse.

Now the pastry is chilled, bake for 15 mins then remove the beans and foil and return to the oven for 5 mins until the pastry is a pale biscuit colour.

Second half

While the casing is cooking melt the butter and sugar in the saucepan, pour into a bowl and beat in the eggs and almonds.

Spread the tart case with a little jam and the blueberries, then pour the egg mixture carefully over the top. Bake in the oven for 20 mins until the mixture is golden, risen and springy to the touch.

Full time results

Serve with whipped cream.

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Tottenham Hotspur F.C. ~ Steak and Yidney pie

Introduction: Tottenham Hotspur Football Club, commonly referred to as Spurs, is an English football club that plays in the Premier League. The club’s home stadium is White Hart Lane and it is the first premiership stadium I ever visited when I went to watch The Millwall play thereFile:Tottenham Hotspur.svg some time around 2002 I think.

Founded in 1882, Tottenham won the FA Cup for the first time in 1901, making it the only non-League club to do so since the formation of the Football League. Tottenham was the first club in the 20th century to achieve the League and FA Cup Double, winning both competitions in the 1960–61 season.

Supporters of Spurs adopted the nickname “Yid” as a direct response to opposition fans originally using the word against them as a form of taunting and abuse. “Yid” is used as a badge of honour by the supporters of Tottenham Hotspur F.C., whether they be Jewish or not. And it is in that kickballing spirit that I have named this recipe. I do not wish to offend in any way, this is a kickball cuisine recipe for Spurs fans, for their history and for their chant. This is not a commentary on the broader issues of race and religion. I hope you enjoy the recipe.

Preparation time: 45 mins

Cooking time: One kickball match (3 hours)

Home kit: a casserole, 3 pint pie dish, pie funnel, kitchen scissors, shallow dish and set aside dish.

Away kit: 4 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 4

Ingredients

  • 25g (1oz) butter
  • 2tbsp vegetable oil
  • 900g (2lb) braising steak, cut into 1 inch cubes
  • 3 lamb’s kidneys, snip out the white gristle and quarter
  • 3 tbsp. plain flour
  • 2 onions, peeled and finely sliced
  • 2 garlic cloves, peeled and chopped
  • 1 x 570ml (1 pint) dark ale
  • Good splash Worcestershire sauce
  • 100g (4oz) chestnut mushrooms, quartered
  • 375g (13oz) puff pastry
  • 1 egg yolk, to glaze the pastry
  • Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
  • A little water

Method: Preheat the oven to 160oC

First half

Put the flour in the dish and season, coat the bits of steak and kidney in the seasoned flour. Heat the butter and oil in the casserole over a medium heat and brown a few pieces of meat at a time to seal in the flavours. Set aside and continue until it is all browned. Add a little water to the casserole and loosen the loveliness at the bottom with a wooden spoon. Now fry the onions and garlic to cook for 10 minutes until soft and lightly coloured.

Add the ale and Worcestershire sauce and season. Put on the lid and cook in the oven for one kickball match (2- 2½ hours) until the meat is tender.

Add the mushrooms, stir and pour into the pie dish. Put the funnel in the centre and cool.

Second half – Increase the oven temperature to 200oC.

Grease the rim of the pie dish. Roll out the pastry on a lightly floured board. Cut a 1 inch strip of pastry and press on to the rim of the pie dish. Brush the rim with water. Roll the remaining pastry to make a lid and place on top of the pie, pressing down the edges. Trim and knock up by using a flat-bladed knife and horizontally tapping the edge. Decorate the centre of the pie with a pastry cockerel standing on a kickball. Mix the egg yolk with a little water and brush over the pastry. Place in the oven and cook for 25 to 30 minutes or until the pastry is risen and golden brown.

Extra time

The cooked meat mixture can be frozen for up to a month in the pie dish in a freezer bag. To assemble the pie, simply defrost and play the second half.

Full time results

Stick on a plate with peas and eat with a pint of ale.

Manchester United F.C. ~ Robin Van Pastie

Introduction: I wrote this recipe about two days before Robin van Persie moved to Manchester Utd.image

Robin van Persie was born on the 6th August 1983, he is a Dutch kickballer who now plays as a striker for Manchester United for whom he has made 56 appearances and scoring 37 goals.

He has also made 277 appearances for for The Arsenal and scored 132 goals for them.  He was their top goal scorer in 2006/7, 2008/9, 2010/11 and 2011/12.

My friend says that a pastie made from robins would not taste very nice.

Preparation time: 20 mins

Cooking time: 1 hour

Home kit; baking tray

Away kit; 6 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 6

Ingredients

  • A 500g pack ready rolled short crust pastry
  • 300g (11 oz.) thinly sliced potatoes
  • 2 onions, thinly sliced
  • 225g (8 oz.) steak, cut in 1cm cubes
  • 1½ teaspoons salt
  • 1 generous pinch ground black pepper
  • 30g (1 oz) butter

Method: Preheat the oven to 190oC

First half

Divide pastry in three equal parts. Roll a third of the dough to make a 20x40cm rectangle. Cut to make two 20cm squares. Place on baking tray. Repeat with other two thirds of pastry, ending up with six pastry squares.

Arrange layer of potatoes on half of each pastry square, top with layer of onion and then with meat. Sprinkle with salt and pepper and dot with butter.

Moisten pastry edges with cold water and fold over to make triangles; press edges together to make tight seal. A tight seal retains steam and makes juicy pasties.

Second half

Bung ‘em in the oven for 1 hour or until meat is tender.

N.B. Ovens do come with timers so you can do the prep for your van Pasties stick them in the oven and set the timer to have them ready for when you get back from the game / pub.

Also, if you let the pasties to cool completely you can chuck them into freezer bags and keep them for up to 3 months for defrosting on match days.

Full time result

Serve straight from the oven on warmed plates with chips in winter or cold with salad in summer with HP sauce at all times.