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Hull City A.F.C. ~ Tiger prawns

Introduction: Hull City AFC was founded in 1904, they traditionally play in black and amber striped shirts, hence their nickname The Tigers. The club’s mascot is Roary the Tiger. He is not a prawn.

Hull City badge

The owner, Assem Allam, has asked to change the club’s name to Hull Tigers but this has not been accepted by The FA yet (Mar 2014).  There is some dissention among Hull City supporters who believe that Assem does not understand what a kickball club’s name means in terms of history and tradition.  Understandable, Hull is a city not a brand.

I really like this recipe, it has beer!

Preparation time: 10 mins

Cooking time: 5 mins probably less

Home kit: large mixing bowl, large frying pan or wok, small bowl for the dusting flour

Away kit: 1serving plate, kitchen roll

Serves: 4

Ingredients

  • 1 bottle Tiger beer (330ml)
  • 200g plain flour
  • 1 tsp. salt
  • 1 tsp. paprika
  • 12 raw tiger prawns
  • another 200g plain flour, for dusting
  • hot sweet chilli dipping sauce

Method: Carefully heat the oil to 190oC

First half

Pour the beer into the bowl and sift the first 200g flour, salt, and paprika into it. Whisk until the batter is light and frothy man.  Put the second 200g flour into the dusting bowl.

Second half

Heat at least 2 inches of oil in the frying pan or wok. When the oil reaches frying temperature coat the prawns with flour, shake off any excess and dip into the batter. Carefully drop them into the hot oil three at a time to avoid tiger prawn clump.

When they are brown, this will take less than a minute, scootch them about a bit to make sure they are brown all over, fry for another minute. Drain on the kitchen paper on the serving plate.

Full time result

Serve hot with sweet chilli dipping sauce.

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CRYSTAL PALACE F.C. ~ John Salsalako

Introduction: John Akin Salako (born 11 February 1969) is a Nigerian-born English former professional footballer, sports television pundit and U16 coach of Premier League side Crystal Palace.

He played as a midfielder for Palace from 1986 until 1995. He represented England at senior level, earning five caps, all during 1991. He help Palace reach the FA cup final in 1990.

Preparation time: 5mins

Standing time: 0-30 mins

Home kit: whizzy stick (hand held blender) and whizzy stick beaker

Away kit: medium serving bowl, tortillas

Serves: 4

Ingredients

  • 1 tsp. chilli powder
  • bunch coriander, chopped (Basil is a good substitute)
  • 2 tomatoes, finely chopped
  • ½ red onion, finely chopped
  • ½ lime, juice only
  • 1 ripe avocado
  • salt, to taste

Method:

First half

Put the coriander, tomato, onion, ripe avocado and salt into the whizzy stick pot and whizz them into submission. Stir in the chilli and the lime juice which loosens the mixture.

Second half

Leave to fester for about 30 mins but you can tuck in immediately if time is short.

Full time results

Slop into the bowl and dip the tortillas into it.

Is it salsa? Is it guacamole? No it’s Salsalako.  Works well in fajita’s too.

Wigan Athletic F.C. ~ Crab Laticakes

Introduction: The club’s nickname, “Latics” is a contraction of the word “Athletic” in some strange dialect.

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Make these up before you go to the match and stick them in the fridge to firm up.

Preparation time: 10 mins

Chilling time; The longer the better

Cooking time: 10 mins

Home kit: large mixing bowl, large non-stick frying pan

Away kit: 4 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 4

Ingredients

  • 250g (9oz) white crab meat
  • 4 spring onions, thinly sliced
  • A thumb of fresh ginger, grated
  • 4tbsp fresh chives, finely chopped
  • 1 red chilli, deseeded and finely chopped
  • 2 large eggs
  • 200g (7oz) fresh white breadcrumbs
  • 3tbsp vegetable oil
  • 4tbsp mayonnaise (full fat not that light rubbish)
  • Finely grated zest and juice of ½ lime, plus lime wedges to serve
  • Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper

Method: Preheat the oven to 100oC

First half

Mix the crab, spring onions, ginger, chives, chilli, eggs and breadcrumbs together in the bowl. Season and form into 16 round patties.

Second half

Heat the oil in the frying pan. Fry the crab cakes for 3 mins each side so they turn crispy and golden – if you do this in batches they turn crispy quicker as there is not so much steam in the pan.

Full time results

Mix together the mayonnaise, lime zest and juice. Season well and serve with the crab cakes, lime wedges and a crisp green salad if you must or stick them in come crusty bread rolls.

West Bromwich Albion F.C. ~ Boing boing baguette

Introduction: The Baggies supporters celebrate goals by bouncing up and down and chanting “Boing Boing”. This dates back to the 1992–93 season, when the team was promoted from the Second Division.

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Apparently boinging’s only really effective when stood on the terraces: in these days of all seaters it loses some of its impact. 

imageOnce upon a time the tea-ladies complained that every time a goal was scored, and the Brummie started boinging, the vibrations were transmitted through the concrete to the tea-bar and everything boinged about inside. The club were so concerned about this that they called in experts from Birmingham University to measure the effect of these sympathetic vibrations on the safety of the stand.

Preparation time: 5 mins

Cooking time: 5 mins

Home kit: small mixing bowl and a grill

Away kit: 2-4 plates

Serves: 2-4

Ingredients

  • 50g mature cheddar cheese, grated
  • 2 baguettes
  • 1 tin of tuna, drained
  • 4 tbsp. mayonnaise
  • A sprinkling of Worcestershire Sauce
  • Salt and pepper

Method: Preheat the grill to a medium heat

First half

Cut the baguettes in half and toast the crusty sides. While that is toasting drain the brine from the tuna and tip into the bowl. Mash in the mayonnaise, salt and pepper with a fork.

Second half

When the baggie is crunchy remove from the grill and spread on the tuna mix. Get as close to the edge as you can to protect the bread from the second toasting it’s about to get. Sprinkle on the cheese and Worcestershire sauce and put back under the grill until the cheese turns golden and bubbly.

Full time results

Stick them on the plates and serve. With salad if you must.

Clearly this would be better made with frog’s legs but this is not to the British palate I suspect.

Cardiff City F.C. ~ Bluebirdy Rarebit

Introduction: Cardiff have been called The Bluebirds since sometime between 1909 and 1911.

You might be interested in the connection with the children’s play imagecalled The Blue Bird, written by the Belgian playwright Maurice Maeterlinck in 1909. The bird, a symbol of happiness, is pursued by children who want to imprison it in a cage and the play’s theme urges us not to try to hoard happiness for ourselves.

It came to the New Theatre in Cardiff in late October 1911. The publicity surrounding the play’s arrival and then Maeterlinck’s Nobel Prize for Literature combined with the new blue strip led to a mystery Cardiff City supporter deciding to call the team ‘The Blue Birds’. Gradually, it emerged as the favoured nickname before being adopted officially by the club.

Preparation time: 20 mins

Cooking time: 10 mins

Home kit: small mixing bowl, large toaster and a grill.

Away kit: 1 serving plate, napkins

Serves: 4

Ingredients

  • 1 free-range egg yolk
  • 85g/3oz Danish blue cheese, crumbled
  • 3 tbsp. double cream
  • 1 tsp. Dijon mustard
  • A dash Worcestershire sauce
  • salt and freshly ground black pepper
  • 2 slices crusty white bread

Method: Preheat the grill to medium

First half

Vigorously mix the egg yolk, cheese, cream, mustard, Worcestershire sauce, salt and pepper in the bowl until well combined.

Second half

Stick two slices of bread in one toaster slot so you only toast one side of each. Top the un-toasted side with the egg and cheese mixture and slap onto a baking sheet and slide under the grill for 3-4 minutes, until golden-brown and bubbling on top.

Full time results

Stick on the serving plate and eat immediately.  Well not immediately as you will burn the roof of your mouth, but you know what I mean.

Swansea City A.F.C. ~ Coquilles Saint Toshack

Introduction: John Benjamin Toshack OBE (born 22 March 1949) is a Welsh former footballer player, and now a football manager. He managed Swansea City taking over from Harry Griffiths in 1978 and he took them from the Fourth Division to the First in four seasons.

A splendid photo of John Toshack and Henry Newton (Derby).

As a player, he is remembered for being part of the Liverpool side of the 1970s, where he formed the forward partnership with Kevin Keegan.

This is a recipe  based on Coquilles Saint Jacques, the association of Saint James with the scallop can most likely be traced to a legend that the apostle once rescued a knight covered in scallops. Well, what else could it be?

Preparation time: 10 mins

Cooking time: 10 mins

Home kit: oven proof dish, medium-sized pan, slotted spoon

Away kit: 4 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 4

Ingredients

  • 1 tbsp. butter
  • ½ onion, finely chopped
  • 2 cloves garlic, crushed
  • palmful of fresh parsley
  • 8 scallops
  • 125 ml white wine, such as Chardonnay
  • 150 ml double cream
  • A good handful freshly grated cheese mixture ¼ parmesan, to ¾ mature cheddar cheese
  • Sea salt
  • Freshly ground black pepper

Method: Preheat the oven to 180oC

First half

Melt the butter in the pan over a medium heat and soften the onion and garlic in it for 2–3 minutes until softened and translucent. Add the parsley and season to taste. Remove the mixture from the pan with the spoon and set aside, leaving the liquor.

Second half

Warm the liquor in the pan when hot add the scallops and brown them on each side, this will take about 30 seconds for each side. Return the garlic and onion and add the white wine, and cook briskly for a couple of minutes. Reduce the heat and stir in the double cream, cook gently until reduced and thickened.

Pour the mixture into the dish and cover with grated cheese. Place the dish in the oven and cook until the cheese is golden.

Full time results

Garnish with parsley and serve immediately.

Stoke City F.C. ~ Goujon Banks

Introduction: Gordon Banks, OBE (born 30 December 1937) is… well, he’s Gordon Banks isn’t he! He made 194 appearances for Stoke between 1967 and 1972, and won 73 caps for his country. He was named FWA Footballer of the Year in 1972, and was named FIFA Goalkeeper of the Year on six occasions.

Gordon Banks catching a dog

Clearly an animal lover, here he is saving a dog.

Banks made what he believed to be three of the best saves of his career in a Stoke shirt. He saved and caught a powerful, well placed header from Manchester City’s Wyn Davies from eight yards. The second was a Francis Lee header, which he saved at Maine Road, and the third was catching a volley from Spur’s Alan Gilzean hit from just six yards out at White Hart Lane.

Preparation time: 15 mins

Cooking time: 10 mins

Home kit: rolling pin, large frying pan, 3 saucers

Away kit: a large serving plate and some kitchen roll

Serves: A kickball team as finger food but 4 as a starter

Ingredients

  • 2 chicken breasts
  • 1 egg
  • ½ cup of flour
  • 1 matchbox of Parmesan cheese , grated
  • 1 tsp. Basil
  • 1 tsp. Oregano
  • 1 tsp. thyme
  • Handful of breadcrumbs
  • Some oil for frying

Method: Preheat the oven to 75oC and put in the large serving plate to warm

First half

Put the chicken breasts between two bits of cling-film and whack them with the rolling pin to flatten.

Cut the chicken into fingers about ½ inch wide. Put the flour, egg and breadcrumbs separately into the three saucers.  Grate the Parmesan and add the herbs to the breadcrumbs.

Second half – heat the oil in the frying pan

Dip the chicken fingers into the flour, then the egg and then the breadcrumb mixture and shallow fry in the frying pan over a medium heat until golden brown.  Do them a few at at time putting them on the kitchen roll on the plate in the oven.

Full time results

Serve from the warmed plate with tomato sauce, mayonnaise or just a squeeze of lemon juice.

Southampton F.C. ~ Saintchiladas

Introduction: The club has been called “The Saints” since it was founded on 21st November 1885 by members of the St. Mary’s Church of England Young Men’s Association (St. Mary’s YMA). So, it was an historic homecoming in 2001 when the team returned to St. Mary’s stadium next to that same church over a century later.

St. Mary's

In case you’ve not come across one of these (as I hadn’t) an enchilada is a tortilla rolled around a filling, chicken in this case, and smothered in a sauce of some description.

Preparation time: 30 mins

Cooking time: 15 mins first half and 20 mins second half

Home kit: A medium and large saucepan, two mixing bowls and a large baking tray

Away kit: 4 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 4

Ingredients

  • 1.5 pints chicken stock
  • 4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into strips
  • 6 green chillies
  • 1 clove garlic
  • 1 jar salsa
  • 4 oz. grated cheddar
  • 2 oz. grated parmesan
  • a handful of fresh coriander, chopped
  • 1 jar sliced black olives, drained
  • 1 jar enchilada sauce
  • Mexican hot sauce
  • 2 tsp. Cayenne pepper
  • 8 corn tortillas (6 inches across)

Method:

First half – before the match

Bring the stock to the boil in the medium pan, reduce the heat and add the chicken, chillies and garlic. Cook for 15 minutes or until chicken is cooked through. Strain chicken, run cold water over it and shred into a bowl. Mix in the jar of salsa and set aside.

In the other bowl, mix up the cheddar, parmesan, coriander and olives.

In the large saucepan over medium heat, combine enchilada sauce, Mexican hot sauce and cayenne pepper (to taste). Stir until simmering then remove from the heat and set aside.

Second half – After the match – Preheat the oven to 220oC

Grease the baking tray (unless it’s non-stick). Microwave the tortillas for 20 seconds to soften them. Place small handfuls of the cheese mixture and chicken in centre of each tortilla, roll up and place on the baking tray, seam side down. Ladle on sauce and top with any remaining cheese mixture. Bake 20 minutes.

Full time results

Serve with remaining sauce on the side.

Queens Park Rangers F.C. ~ Harry Redsnapper

Introduction: Henry James “Harry” Redknapp (born 2 March 1947) is a former English kickballer who is currently manager of Queens Park Rangers. He has had a long career in football management starting in 1983 with Bournemouth.

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He is also known for his colourful quotes. “I sorted out the team formation last night lying in bed with the wife. When your husband’s as ugly as me, you’d only want to talk football in bed.”

Preparation time: 30mins

Cooking time: 4 or 20 mins depending if you choose whole fish or fillets

Home kit: Baking tray, small mixing bowl and dish, rolling pin (or hammer) .

Away kit: 4 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 4

Ingredients

  • 1 pound whole Harry Redsnapper, cleaned and gutted OR fillets
  • For the marinade:
  • 2 cloves garlic
  • 2 stalks fresh lemongrass, cut in 1/4″ stalks
  • 1 Tablespoon fish sauce
  • 1 teaspoon brown sugar
  • 3 Tablespoons peanut oil
  • 2 Thai chillies, sliced thinly

Method: Preheat the grill

First half

Wash the fish and pat dry with some paper towels. If you’re using the whole fish, make two or three ¼” deep cuts diagonally across its flanks. Smash up the stalks of the lemongrass with the rolling pin (or hammer) but reserve about a 1″ of the softest stalk and chop finely. Combine the garlic, fish sauce, sugar, oil, chillies, smashed and chopped lemongrass in the bowl and let the it marinade for about 5 minutes, then remove the chillies and set aside in the dish for later use.

Pour the marinade over the fish. If you are using the whole fish, place the smashed lemongrass stalks in the body cavity of the fish. This will add some extra lemongrassiness. Let marinade for about 20 minutes.

Second half

Place fish under the hot grill. Cook for about 2 minutes on each side for fillets, 10 minutes on each side for the whole fish. The time necessary for a whole Harry Redsnapper will also depend on the size of him.

Full time results

Remove fish from grill and dress with the diced chillies and serve on the plates you warmed under the grill with sticky Thai rice. Once served and eaten, wait for a couple of hours and you will find that Fabio Cappello has resigned from whatever job he was in.

Newcastle United F.C. ~ Keeganaan

Introduction: On 5 February 1992, almost eight years after his final game as a player, Keegan returned to football as manager of Newcastle United. They had been relegated from the top flight in 1989 and narrowly missed out on promotion in 1990 after losing in the playoffs to arch-rivals Sunderland, but in 1991 they had failed to make the playoffs and at several stages in 1991–92 they had occupied bottom place in the Second Division. Following the dismissal of previous manager Ossie Ardiles, Keegan was appointed to prevent Newcastle from being relegated to the third tier of English football for the first time.

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A stottie is a flat and round loaf, about a foot in diameter and quite deep used here as a traditional north eastern replacement for naan bread.

Preparation time: 10mins or o mins

Cooking time: None or 10 mins

Home kit: large mixing bowl, large frying pan

Away kit: 4 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 4

Ingredients

  • 500g minced lamb
  • 1 egg
  • 2 green chillies, chopped (don’t rub your eyes)
  • 1 tbsp. ground coriander
  • 1 tbsp. garam masala
  • Handful fresh coriander, chopped (or a palmful of dried)
  • Generous pinch of salt
  • A little oil for frying

For serving

  • Chilli sauce
  • 1 stottie

Method: Preheat the oven to 100oC

First half

Put all the ingredients into a large bowl and mix with your hands. When nicely combined take it out of the bowl and onto a clean flat surface like a breadboard and knead it for a while until it becomes smooth and sticky, like dough. Form into four patties.

Second half

Put the stottie on a plate in the oven to warm through.

Put a little oil in a frying pan and fry each of the patties for a couple of minutes on each side. Put them in the oven to rest for 5 mins.

Full time results

While the patties are resting take out the stottie, cut into four and then prise open each quarter. Slop in a little chilli sauce, pop in a rested pattie and eat. With salad if you must.

Extra time

Alternatively, buy some seekh kebabs from the Indian on the way back from the match and stick them in a warmed stottie. With a salad if you must.