Alessandro Cannoli

Alessandro Zanoli (born 3 October 2000) is an Italian professional footballer who plays as a right-back for Serie A club Napoli. Zanoli made his Napoli debut on 20 September 2021, replacing Mário Rui after 86 minutes in a 4−0 Serie A away win against Udinese.

Preparation time: 1 hour

Cooking time: 10 mins

Home kit: large mixing bowl, small mixing bowl, rolling pin, 10-15 cannoli tubes and Scicilian cannoli serving dish.

Away kit: side plate, fingers and a knapkin to mop up the bits you’ve dropped

Serves: 10-15 depending on how many shells you cut.

Ingredients

For the shells

• 200 g (7 oz) of “00” pasta flour
• 1 teaspoon of unsweetened cocoa powder (optional)
• 1 teaspoon of cinnamon powder
• 20 g (0.7 oz) of softened lard or butter
• 1 teaspoon of coffee powder (optional)
• 35 g (1.2 oz) of icing sugar
• 1 teaspoon of fine salt
• 1 egg of about 50 g (1.7 oz)
• 50 ml of Marsala wine
• plenty of vegatable oil (for frying) I like to use rapeseed or peanut oil though traditionally we should use lard.

For the filling

• 500 g (18 oz) sheep’s milk ricotta (this is preferred over cow’s milk as it is firmer)
• 180 g (6 oz) of white sugar
• 60 g (2 oz) of crushed dark chocolate
• chopped pistachios, glacé cherries and icing sugar for decoration

Method:

First half

Put the flour, icing sugar, cinnamon, unsweetened cocoa powder, coffee powder and salt into the mixing bowl and mix with a wooden spoon or spatula. Now work in the room temperature lard/butter. Now add the egg and continue combining the ingregients. Finally add the Marsala wine. Work the dough in the bowl until it becomes a ball. Take it out and knead for about five minutes. Wrap in cling film and put it in the fridge to rest for half an hour.

Stoppage time – make the filling

Combine the ricotta and sugar in the small mixing bowl. once evenly mixed pass it through a sieve to make it lovely and smooth. Pour in the crushed dark chocolate chips, stir and pop in the fridge until you are ready to serve.

Second half

Start heating your vegetable oil for frying…

The dough has rested for half and hour, take it out out of the fridge and roll it out to thickness of about 3mm. Use a pastry ring to cut out as many cannoli discs as you can, 5-6 inches in diameter. Take one of the discs and wrap it round a cannoli tube, wet the ends of the disc that are touching and press firmly to seal it onto the tube. This should stop it opening as it cooks. Fry the shell on the tube until it is golden brown. Remove from the oil and place on kitchen paper to drain. Repeat for all of your discs. Once they are cool enough remove the tubes.

Extra time – fill the cannoli tubes

Fill a pastry bag with the rocotta and chocolate cream. Take each cannoli tube and fill with the cream. Decorate each end with the pistachios or glacé cherries. Or why not both?

This shuld always be done at the last minute or the shells will go soggy.

Full time result

Place on your serving dish, dust with icing sugar and scoff.

Hull City A.F.C. ~ Boothberry Tart

Introduction: Boothferry Park was the cherished home of Hull City AFC for over 50 years from 31 August 1946 until December 2002.  Sadly, it is not so cherished now…

Hull City’s record home attendance was 55,019 at this stadium for a match against Manchester United on 26th February 1949. A record which will never be beaten as the new seated stadium only has a capacity of less than half of that at 25,586.

Preparation time: 10 mins

Cooking time: 45 mins

Home kit: 11in x 7in loose-bottomed tart tin, blind baking beans (No they are not beans that are blind, Google them!), small saucepan, large mixing bowl

Away kit: 4 pudding bowls and forks

Serves: 4

Ingredients

• 375g (13oz) shortcrust pastry
• 100g (4oz) butter
• 100g (4oz) caster sugar
• 3 eggs
• 100g (4oz) ground almonds
• 50g (2oz) toasted almonds
• Blueberry jam
• 125g (4½ oz.) blueberries

Method: Preheat the oven to 190^oC

First half

Roll out the pastry and line the tart tin. Prick the base and line with foil and the baking beans, make sure the beans go right into the corners, well not corners but you know what I mean. Chill for 15 mins by listening to some Amy Winehouse.

Now the pastry is chilled, bake for 15 mins then remove the beans and foil and return to the oven for 5 mins until the pastry is a pale biscuit colour.

Second half

While the casing is cooking melt the butter and sugar in the saucepan, pour into a bowl and beat in the eggs and almonds.

Spread the tart case with a little jam and the blueberries, then pour the egg mixture carefully over the top. Bake in the oven for 20 mins until the mixture is golden, risen and springy to the touch.

Full time results

Serve with whipped cream.

Crystal Palace F.C. ~ Wright’s pudding

Introduction: Ian Edward Wright, MBE (born 3 November 1963, Woolwich, London) is a former English professional footballer turned television and radio personality and currently part-time first-team coach of Milton Keynes Dons. He played 225-253 (I’m not sure which) games for Crystal Palace between 1985 and 1991 scoring 117 goals in all competitions. He was voted into their Centenary XI and named their “Player of The Century” in 2005.

Crystal Palace talent scout Pete Prentice saw Wright in a local Sunday-league match playing for Greenwich Borough and invited him for a trial at Selhurst Park. He impressed Steve Coppell, and signed for Crystal Palace in August 1985 where he was paid £100-a-week.  The transfer fee?  He was swapped for a set of weights.

I like that he is a Millwall supporter and has been since he was a boy. Perhaps we will meet there one day.

Preparation time: 10mins

Cooking time: 2½ hours

Home kit: 1½ pint ovenproof dish,

Away kit: 4 plates, spoons

Serves: 4

Ingredients

• 2 oz. (50 g) pudding rice
• 1 pint (568 ml) whole milk
• 2 tbsp. golden caster sugar
• Zest of ½ a lemon
• grated nutmeg, a whole one
• 1 tbsp. butter

Method: Preheat the oven to 150^oC

First half

Wash the rice and drain well. Put into the dish and stir in the milk. Leave the rice to soak and soften for about 30 minutes. Add the sugar and lemon zest and stir it up. Grate the nutmeg onto the surface and dot with the butter.

Second half

Bake in the oven for 2½ hours stirring it once after 30 minutes. Then leave well alone to allow the skin to form.

Full time results

Allow to cool and serve making sure that everyone has an equal portion of the lovely golden skin.

Cardiff City F.C. ~ Malky Mackay Cakes

Introduction: Malcolm George “Malky” Mackay (born 19 February 1972) is a Scottish football manager and former player. He played as a defender and began his career in Scottish football with Queen’s Park and Celtic. He also won five caps for Scotland.

He was the manager of Cardiff City from June 2011 to December 2013. He had a very successful two and a half years there taking them from the Championship to the Premier league for the first time in their history.

This recipe is for Welsh cakes or Pice ar y maen, a teatime treat passed on through generations and still as popular as ever.

Preparation time: 10mins

Cooking time: 10 mins

Home kit: food processor, scone cutter, large mixing bowl and a griddle, not got a griddle? A large frying pan will do. A spatula

Away kit: 4 side plates, knives and forks

Serves: 3-4 This makes about 12

Ingredients

• 8oz/225g self raising flour
• teaspoon salt
• teaspoon grated nutmeg
• 4oz/110g butter
• 4oz/110g caster sugar
• 1 large egg beaten
• 2-3 tablespoons milk
• 2oz/55g sultanas

Method: Preheat the oven to 100^oC

First half

Sieve together the flour, salt and nutmeg into a food processor. Cut a slice of hard butter, direct from the fridge, into the processor and whiz to the texture of fine crumbs. Add the sugar, and whiz in the egg and two tablespoons milk. Tip this mixture into the bowl, and add the sultanas. Knead briefly to a stiff dough – if it is crumbly, then add the third tablespoon of milk at this point to make it smooth. On a lightly floured surface, roll out the dough until it is about ½ inch thick. Cut into rounds using a scone cutter.

Second half

Heat a griddle, and rub it with butter. If you don’t possess a griddle, use a heavy frying pan instead. When it is very hot put the rounds of Welsh cake mixture onto this, and cook until brown on the underneath. Turn them over and cook on their other side. Remove them with the spatula to the wire rack to cool.

Full time results

Butter and eat with a nice cup of tea at half time.

Swansea City A.F.C. ~ Coquilles Saint Toshack

Introduction: John Benjamin Toshack OBE (born 22 March 1949) is a Welsh former footballer player, and now a football manager. He managed Swansea City taking over from Harry Griffiths in 1978 and he took them from the Fourth Division to the First in four seasons.

A splendid photo of John Toshack and Henry Newton (Derby).

As a player, he is remembered for being part of the Liverpool side of the 1970s, where he formed the forward partnership with Kevin Keegan.

This is a recipe  based on Coquilles Saint Jacques, the association of Saint James with the scallop can most likely be traced to a legend that the apostle once rescued a knight covered in scallops. Well, what else could it be?

Preparation time: 10 mins

Cooking time: 10 mins

Home kit: oven proof dish, medium-sized pan, slotted spoon

Away kit: 4 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 4

Ingredients

• 1 tbsp. butter
• ½ onion, finely chopped
• 2 cloves garlic, crushed
• palmful of fresh parsley
• 8 scallops
• 125 ml white wine, such as Chardonnay
• 150 ml double cream
• A good handful freshly grated cheese mixture ¼ parmesan, to ¾ mature cheddar cheese
• Sea salt
• Freshly ground black pepper

Method: Preheat the oven to 180^oC

First half

Melt the butter in the pan over a medium heat and soften the onion and garlic in it for 2–3 minutes until softened and translucent. Add the parsley and season to taste. Remove the mixture from the pan with the spoon and set aside, leaving the liquor.

Second half

Warm the liquor in the pan when hot add the scallops and brown them on each side, this will take about 30 seconds for each side. Return the garlic and onion and add the white wine, and cook briskly for a couple of minutes. Reduce the heat and stir in the double cream, cook gently until reduced and thickened.

Pour the mixture into the dish and cover with grated cheese. Place the dish in the oven and cook until the cheese is golden.

Full time results

Garnish with parsley and serve immediately.

Sunderland A.F.C. ~ Black Cat Pudding

Introduction: The link between Sunderland AFC and the black cat stems originally from a gun battery on the River Wear in 1805 which was called the ‘Black Cat’ battery after the men manning the station heard awful howling from a wailing black cat.

A hundred years later in 1905, a black cat was pictured sitting on a football next to Chairman F.W. Taylor and three years later a black cat featured on a team photograph.

The first official badge

This is a vintage recipe for a Sunderland pudding from the 18th Century when it was also known as a flour pudding.

Preparation time: 40mins

Cooking time: 20-30 mins

Home kit: large mixing bowl, some small cups

Away kit: some saucers

Serves: some

Ingredients

• 225g sugar
• 225g butter
• 1 pint of milk
• 300g of sifted flour
• 3 eggs and 2 egg yolks
• A little lemon zest

Method: Preheat the oven to 100^oC

First half

Heat the milk until hot but not boiling and stir in the butter until it melts. Let it cool for about ½ an hour before adding the other ingredients.

Stir in the sugar, flour and eggs and lemon zest. Whisk the mixture until light and fluffy.

Second half

Butter the cups and fill them rather more than half full; bake for about twenty minutes to half an hour.

Full time results

Serve with fruit, cream, custard or all three poured into the cups you cooked them in. Remember to put them on the saucers.

Queens Park Rangers F.C. ~ Cherry Flancis

Introduction: Gerald Charles James “Gerry” Francis (born 6 December 1951) is an English former footballer and manager.

Francis made his debut for Queens Park Rangers v Liverpool in March 1969. He was captain and central midfield player during the 1970s and was a key player in the QPR side which came within a hair’s breadth of their first-ever league title in 1976. He won 12 caps for the England team between 1974 and 1976, and was captain for eight of those matches.

Preparation time: 40mins

Cooking time: 40 mins

Home kit: large and small mixing bowls, large pie dish

Away kit: 4-6 plates and spoons

Serves: 4-6

Ingredients

• ¾ lb. black cherries, washed and stems removed (leave the stones in)
• ½ cup sugar
• 1 tbsp. butter
• ¾ cup flour, sifted
• 1 pinch salt
• 2 eggs, beaten
• 1 cup milk
• Caster sugar

Method: Preheat the oven to 180^oC

First half

Put the cherries in a bowl, sprinkle with ¼ cup of the sugar, and let marinate for 30 minutes. Butter a deep pie dish. Put the flour, salt and remaining ¼ cup sugar in the large bowl. Add the eggs and mix in followed by the milk and another thorough mixing.

Second half

Put the cherries in the pie pan and pour in the batter. Stick it in the oven and bake for 35-40 minutes or until golden. Dust with the caster sugar.

Full time results

Allow to cook, stick on plate, eat

Note: The traditional method is to not pit the cherries. Leaving the stones in keeps the cherries very juicy. However, you can de-pit them if you so desire. But if you do leave them in, be sure to let your guests know before eating. Unless they support Chelsea, Fulham and Brentford.

Newcastle United F.C. ~ Mississippi Mag Pie

Introduction: Newcastle have probably been known as the Magpies since their founding on the 9th December 1892. Probably because of their black and white strip BUT there is a possibility that it comes from the tale that a pair of Magpies nested at St James’ Park shortly after it was built in 1880. You should know that Newcastle United actually played in red and white until 1904.

This recipe is loosely based on the Mississippi mud pie that probably originated on the banks of the Mississippi and it should resemble the consistency of the eponymous mud.

Preparation time: 30 mins

Chillin’ time: 30-40 mins

Cooking time: 40-45 minutes

Home Kit: plastic bag, rolling pin, two medium mixing bowls that sit snugly on a saucepan, the saucepan that they fit onto and a 9 inch (23cm) cake tin with a removable base.

Away kit: Tea, tea cups, saucers and side plates

Serves: Some

Ingredients

• 200g digestive biscuits
• 60g and 180g unsalted butter (you’ll see why soon)
• 60g and 180g dark chocolate (just wait and you’ll see alright?)
• 4 large eggs
• 180g brown sugar
• 200ml double cream

For the topping

• 100ml double cream
• 2 tbsp. icing sugar
• Some grated dark chocolate

Method: preheat the oven to 180^oC (160^oC if it’s a fan oven)

First half

Crush the digestive biscuits in the plastic bag with the rolling pin. Put the 60g portions of butter and dark chocolate (see told you) into the bowl over the pan with simmering hot water in it and melt them together. Then mix in the biscuit crumbs. Stick this gunge into the greased cake tin and stick the whole lot into the fridge.

Second half

Melt the remaining dark chocolate and butter in a bowl and leave to cool. Now beat up the eggs and brown sugar in the other bowl then whisk in the double cream. Lastly fold in that second batch of melted chocolate & butter. Pour the mixture over the chilled biscuit base and bake for about 40 – 45 minutes. Take it out and let it cool completely before popping it back in the fridge.

Extra time

For the topping whip the double cream with the icing sugar until it will hold soft peaks. Spread over top of pie and sprinkle on the grated chocolate.  I have yet to find a way of doing this in neat stripes.

Full time results

Serve with a nice cup of tea at half time, traditionally with ice cream in the Southern states.

Tottenham Hotspur F.C. ~ Bill Nicholbuns

Introduction: William Edward “Bill” Nicholson OBE (26 January 1919 – 23 October 2004) player, coach, manager and scout who had a 36-year association with Spurs.

He joined the Spurs ground staff in 1936 and signed as a professional there when he was eighteen. Then he joined the Durham Light infantry at the outbreak of the second world war becoming a Sergeant Instructor where he learned training and man management techniques. He returned to Tottenham Hotspur in 1946 to play 314 games and scoring six goals. He was a key part of the “push and run” team that won the 1950-51 league championship. 

He managed Tottenham Hotspur from 1958 to 1974, leading them to the first League/FA cup double of the twentieth century in 59/60, the first British team to win the European Cup in 1963, winning the first all London FA Cup final against Chelsea, the League Cup again in 1971 and 73 and UEFA Cup in 1972.  Does this make him the most important figure in Spurs history?

And so to the recipe…  There are two ways of preparing these buns, the American way is to put them directly onto the baking sheet, the Swedish way is to put them into bun cases on the baking tray.  You can choose case/no case.  It’s up to you but this is mostly the Swedish approach.

Preparation time: 30 mins

Rising time: 90 mins

Cooking time: 6-8 mins

Home kit: large mixing bowl, cling film, baking sheet, tea towel

Away kit: Cake stand

Serves: a kickball team

Ingredients

• one sachet of dried yeast
• 175g butter (75g for the dough, 100g for the filling)
• 250ml milk
• 150g granulated sugar (50g for the dough, 100g for the filling and a bit extra for sprinkling)
• a pinch salt
• 1 teaspoon ground cardamom
• 500g flour
• 1 egg
• 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
• Some water

Method: the oven needs pre-heating in extra time

First half

Put the yeast in a bowl and stir in a few tablespoons of milk. Melt 75g of butter and pour in the milk, now add 50g of the granulated sugar, salt, cardamom and flour. Knead the dough for 10-15mins.  Cover the bowl with cling film and let the dough rise at room temperature for half an hour.

Second half

Roll out the dough to about 3mm thick and 30cm wide. Spread the rest of the room-temperature butter on top. Make a mixture of the rest of the sugar and the cinnamon and sprinkle it over the dough.

Roll the dough lengthwise to make a Swiss roll affair, cut the roll into about 25 slices. Place them with the cut edge facing up into bun cases on the baking sheet and let them rise under a tea towel for about an hour or until the buns have doubled in size.

Extra time: preheat the oven to 250^oC

Beat together the egg and 2 tablespoons of water, brush the mixture carefully over the buns and sprinkle sugar on top to finish.

Bake in the pre-heated oven for 6-8mins. Allow to cool on a wire rack.

Full time results

Arrange on cake stand and scoff with afternoon tea or coffee at half time.

Manchester United F.C. ~ Paul Schones

Introduction: Paul Scholes is an exemplary kickballer playing for Manchester United and an excellent cricketer in his day. He started training for Manchester United at the age of 14.  He has played 499 matches for them, scoring 107 goals.

He has also represented England from 1997 to 2004 earning 66 caps. One of the best kickballing midfielders of his generation during which he amassed some 120 bookings. He has retired twice.

He is an asthmatic and has a knee condition with the excellent name of Osgood–Schlatter disease, which sounds a little Chelsea-esque to me. He does a lot of work encouraging the youth of Manchester by making school appearances and is a strong supporter of the Hearts And Minds Challenge charity that is looking to build a centre of education for autism.

A savage on the field; a saint off it.

Preparation time: 30 mins

Cooking time: 20 mins

Home kit: non-stick baking sheet, food processer, medium mixing bowl

Away kit: A serving plate

Serves: 8

Ingredients

• 225g/8oz self-raising flour
• Half a teaspoon of salt
• 55g/2oz cold butter, diced
• 30g/1oz caster sugar
• 150ml/5floz milk
• 115g/4oz chopped dried apricots (ginger you see)

Method: Preheat the oven to 200^oC

First Half

Lightly oil a non-stick baking sheet.

Sift the flour and salt into a food processor. Add the butter, whiz to fine crumbs, and then tip the mixture into a bowl. Otherwise, sift the flour and salt into a bowl and, using your fingertips, rub the butter into the flour until it resembles fine breadcrumbs.

Stir in the sugar and the dried apricots, then add the milk and mix until it forms a soft, spongy dough.

Turn out onto a lightly floured surface and gently knead until it is just smooth. The raising agent starts to work as soon as the liquid is added, so it’s essential to be quick.

Second Half

Roll out the dough to about 2.5cm (an inch) thick. Dust a 7cm (2¾ inch) diameter pastry cutter in flour and quickly stamp out your scones.  Place the scones on the baking sheet and bake for 20 minutes until well risen and brown.

Full time results

Allow to cool a little and serve warm with a nice cup of tea at half time.