CRYSTAL PALACE F.C. ~ John Salsalako

Introduction: John Akin Salako (born 11 February 1969) is a Nigerian-born English former professional footballer, sports television pundit and U16 coach of Premier League side Crystal Palace.

He played as a midfielder for Palace from 1986 until 1995. He represented England at senior level, earning five caps, all during 1991. He help Palace reach the FA cup final in 1990.

Preparation time: 5mins

Standing time: 0-30 mins

Home kit: whizzy stick (hand held blender) and whizzy stick beaker

Away kit: medium serving bowl, tortillas

Serves: 4


  • 1 tsp. chilli powder
  • bunch coriander, chopped (Basil is a good substitute)
  • 2 tomatoes, finely chopped
  • ½ red onion, finely chopped
  • ½ lime, juice only
  • 1 ripe avocado
  • salt, to taste


First half

Put the coriander, tomato, onion, ripe avocado and salt into the whizzy stick pot and whizz them into submission. Stir in the chilli and the lime juice which loosens the mixture.

Second half

Leave to fester for about 30 mins but you can tuck in immediately if time is short.

Full time results

Slop into the bowl and dip the tortillas into it.

Is it salsa? Is it guacamole? No it’s Salsalako.  Works well in fajita’s too.

Wigan Athletic F.C. ~ Crab Laticakes

Introduction: The club’s nickname, “Latics” is a contraction of the word “Athletic” in some strange dialect.


Make these up before you go to the match and stick them in the fridge to firm up.

Preparation time: 10 mins

Chilling time; The longer the better

Cooking time: 10 mins

Home kit: large mixing bowl, large non-stick frying pan

Away kit: 4 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 4


  • 250g (9oz) white crab meat
  • 4 spring onions, thinly sliced
  • A thumb of fresh ginger, grated
  • 4tbsp fresh chives, finely chopped
  • 1 red chilli, deseeded and finely chopped
  • 2 large eggs
  • 200g (7oz) fresh white breadcrumbs
  • 3tbsp vegetable oil
  • 4tbsp mayonnaise (full fat not that light rubbish)
  • Finely grated zest and juice of ½ lime, plus lime wedges to serve
  • Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper

Method: Preheat the oven to 100oC

First half

Mix the crab, spring onions, ginger, chives, chilli, eggs and breadcrumbs together in the bowl. Season and form into 16 round patties.

Second half

Heat the oil in the frying pan. Fry the crab cakes for 3 mins each side so they turn crispy and golden – if you do this in batches they turn crispy quicker as there is not so much steam in the pan.

Full time results

Mix together the mayonnaise, lime zest and juice. Season well and serve with the crab cakes, lime wedges and a crisp green salad if you must or stick them in come crusty bread rolls.