Carrow Roast Turkey

And we’re off…

Prepped and into the oven…

Hull City A.F.C. ~ Waggy and Chillo con carne

Introduction: Waggy and Chillo are the nicknames of Ken Wagstaff and Chris Chilton. The Hull City AFC goal scoring machine of the late sixties. Ken delivered 197 goals in 434 appearances, while Chris scored 222 goals in 477 appearances. They are both now in their 70’s.

A Chris Chilton quote;

“I’ve just been through a knee operation so that’s two metal hips and a metal knee now,” he said. “They’re just about keeping me together thankfully.

“Waggy, on the other hand, has barely got a scratch on him. That must tell you something about how we played the game!”

And one from Ken;

“I don’t know why the people of Hull took to me so much,” he said. “Maybe it is because of all the goals.

“There was excitement. When we attacked the whole crowd stood up because they expected us to score.”

Preparation time: 15 mins

Cooking time: kickball match (90 mins – 2 hours)

Home kit: oven proof casserole

Away kit: 4 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 4

Ingredients

• 2 tbsp. olive oil
• 1 lb. ground steak or chuck steak cut into bite sized chunks.
• 1 large onion, peeled and finely chopped
• 1 green pepper, seeded and chopped into bite sized chunks (Sheils prefers red AND green)
• 5 cloves of garlic, skinned and crushed
• 1 tin tomatoes
• 1 tin kidney beans with chilli sauce
• 7 red chillies
• 1 tbsp. paprika
• 1 tbsp. ground cumin
• Large pinch of salt
• 1 square dark chocolate (not the whole bar Jules Hargreaves!)

Method: Preheat the oven to 170^oC

First half

Heat the oil in the casserole and bung in the onions to cook for a few minutes until soft, not caramelized. Then add the green pepper and the garlic, fry for a couple mins and add the beef. Continue frying until the beef is browned. Stir in the tomatoes, chillies, paprika and cumin. Bring to the boil, bung in the kidney beans and large pinch of salt.

Second half

Then into the oven for between 1½ to 2 hours. And, as the waggo on the tail of this recipe stir in the square of dark chocolate.

Full time results

Serve with baked potatoes and Cheese Bruce.

Wigan Athletic F.C. ~ Jewell Ruby Murray

Introduction: Paul Jewell (born 28 September 1964) is a former English footballer and manager.

In June 2001, Jewell returned to Wigan Athletic as manager, he had played for them making 137 league appearances and scoring 35 goals. In the 2002–03 season the club won the Division Two championship. They were near the top of Division One throughout the 2003–04 and then on the final day of the 2004–05 Championship season, Jewell’s Athletic side clinched promotion to the Premiership bringing top flight football to the Lancashire town for the first time.

On the final day of the 2006–07 season, Jewell steered Wigan safe from relegation after a win against Sheffield United at Bramall Lane on 13 May 2007. A day later, Jewell resigned as Wigan manager. Shame.

My grandfather used to put dried prawns in with his beef dishes but I have only just found a supplier for them so I have never tried them.

Preparation time: 20mins

Cooking time: 2 hours

Home kit: large shallow casserole, medium bowl and a pestle and mortar.

Away kit: 4 plates, 4 spoons (curry should be eaten with a spoon)

Serves: 4

Ingredients

• 2 lb. stewing beef, cut into 1 inch cubes
• A thumb of ginger
• ½ a bulb of garlic
• ¾ pint of water
• 10 tablespoons (160 ml) vegetable oil
• 10 cardamom pods
• 2 bay leaves
• 10 whole black pepper corns
• 1 inch cinnamon stick
• 1 large onion
• 1 tsp. coriander seeds
• 1 tsp. cumin seeds
• 5 tsp. bright red paprika
• 2 tsp. hot chilli powder
• A generous pinch of salt (for grinding)
• 2 tbsp. tomato puree
• Freshly ground black pepper

Method: Preheat the oven to 180^oC

First half

Put the coriander and cumin seeds into the pestle and mortar with the pinch of salt and do a little grind.

Heat the oil in the casserole over a medium flame. Brown the meat in batches and set aside in the bowl. Do a little grind…

Add the cardamom, bay leaves, pepper corns and cinnamon into the same oil. Stir once. After a few seconds tip in the onion, fry them until golden brown and caramelized. This is important to the taste and will take about 5 mins. Do a little grind…

Now add the ginger and garlic and fry for a further 30 seconds. Add the newly ground coriander and cumin along with the paprika and chilli. Roast these in the oil for a further 30 seconds. Now return the meat and scooch it about in the spices carefully coating each piece.

Second half

The spices will have stuck a bit at this point so pour in the water (careful it will sizzle) and use a wooden spoon to sloosh them off the bottom of the pan. Add the tomato puree and mix that in too. Bring to the boil and stick the casserole in the oven and leave to fester for 2 hours.

Full time results

Serve with pure white boiled basmati rice to contrast with the deep red of the gravy.

N.B. If you turn down the oven temp to 170^oC you can leave this in the oven for an entire visit to your local stadium and it’ll be none the worse for wear.  Though you might need someone else to prepare the rice for you.

West Bromwich Albion F.C. ~ Baggie Beeff Astle

Introduction: Jeffrey “Jeff” Astle (13 May 1942 – 19 January 2002) was an English footballer. He played 361 games for West Bromwich Albion, scoring 174 goals, and was one of the most iconic players in the history of the club. He also won five caps for England, but did not score any goals. The Albion fans nicknamed him “The King”.

He would appear on the TV show “Fantasy Football League” with Skinner and Baddiel where he would sing during the closing credits. Jeff Astle is celebrated on the gates of the Hawthorns.

This recipe is based on a traditional Staffordshire beef lobby, The King of stews.

Preparation time: 20 mins

Cooking time: 40 mins first half then 1 hour in the second half

Home kit: Large casserole dish

Away kit: 4 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 4

Ingredients

• 450g/1lb stewing or braising steak – fat removed and cut into small chunks
• A handful pearl barley
• 1 onion diced
• 1-2 cloves of garlic, crushed
• 4 potatoes diced
• 1 swede diced (the big orange fleshed ones not the little white ones)
• 4 celery sticks, chopped
• 4 diced carrots
• Beef stock

Method: Preheat the oven to 180^oC

First half

Put the meat, onion and pearl barley in the casserole and cover with water. Bring to the boil and then simmer gently on a very low heat for 40 mins. Stir occasionally to prevent it from sticking. Meanwhile peel and chop the vegetables to dice of a similar size.

Second half

Add the vegetables to the casserole and top up with stock to cover the vegetables. Bung in the oven for approximately 60 mins or until everything is softly cooked and the meat is tender. Season to taste.

Full time results

Serve in big bowls with chunky bread.

Swansea City A.F.C. ~ Coquilles Saint Toshack

Introduction: John Benjamin Toshack OBE (born 22 March 1949) is a Welsh former footballer player, and now a football manager. He managed Swansea City taking over from Harry Griffiths in 1978 and he took them from the Fourth Division to the First in four seasons.

A splendid photo of John Toshack and Henry Newton (Derby).

As a player, he is remembered for being part of the Liverpool side of the 1970s, where he formed the forward partnership with Kevin Keegan.

This is a recipe  based on Coquilles Saint Jacques, the association of Saint James with the scallop can most likely be traced to a legend that the apostle once rescued a knight covered in scallops. Well, what else could it be?

Preparation time: 10 mins

Cooking time: 10 mins

Home kit: oven proof dish, medium-sized pan, slotted spoon

Away kit: 4 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 4

Ingredients

• 1 tbsp. butter
• ½ onion, finely chopped
• 2 cloves garlic, crushed
• palmful of fresh parsley
• 8 scallops
• 125 ml white wine, such as Chardonnay
• 150 ml double cream
• A good handful freshly grated cheese mixture ¼ parmesan, to ¾ mature cheddar cheese
• Sea salt
• Freshly ground black pepper

Method: Preheat the oven to 180^oC

First half

Melt the butter in the pan over a medium heat and soften the onion and garlic in it for 2–3 minutes until softened and translucent. Add the parsley and season to taste. Remove the mixture from the pan with the spoon and set aside, leaving the liquor.

Second half

Warm the liquor in the pan when hot add the scallops and brown them on each side, this will take about 30 seconds for each side. Return the garlic and onion and add the white wine, and cook briskly for a couple of minutes. Reduce the heat and stir in the double cream, cook gently until reduced and thickened.

Pour the mixture into the dish and cover with grated cheese. Place the dish in the oven and cook until the cheese is golden.

Full time results

Garnish with parsley and serve immediately.

Southampton F.C. ~ Saintchiladas

Introduction: The club has been called “The Saints” since it was founded on 21st November 1885 by members of the St. Mary’s Church of England Young Men’s Association (St. Mary’s YMA). So, it was an historic homecoming in 2001 when the team returned to St. Mary’s stadium next to that same church over a century later.

In case you’ve not come across one of these (as I hadn’t) an enchilada is a tortilla rolled around a filling, chicken in this case, and smothered in a sauce of some description.

Preparation time: 30 mins

Cooking time: 15 mins first half and 20 mins second half

Home kit: A medium and large saucepan, two mixing bowls and a large baking tray

Away kit: 4 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 4

Ingredients

• 1.5 pints chicken stock
• 4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into strips
• 6 green chillies
• 1 clove garlic
• 1 jar salsa
• 4 oz. grated cheddar
• 2 oz. grated parmesan
• a handful of fresh coriander, chopped
• 1 jar sliced black olives, drained
• 1 jar enchilada sauce
• Mexican hot sauce
• 2 tsp. Cayenne pepper
• 8 corn tortillas (6 inches across)

Method:

First half – before the match

Bring the stock to the boil in the medium pan, reduce the heat and add the chicken, chillies and garlic. Cook for 15 minutes or until chicken is cooked through. Strain chicken, run cold water over it and shred into a bowl. Mix in the jar of salsa and set aside.

In the other bowl, mix up the cheddar, parmesan, coriander and olives.

In the large saucepan over medium heat, combine enchilada sauce, Mexican hot sauce and cayenne pepper (to taste). Stir until simmering then remove from the heat and set aside.

Second half – After the match – Preheat the oven to 220^oC

Grease the baking tray (unless it’s non-stick). Microwave the tortillas for 20 seconds to soften them. Place small handfuls of the cheese mixture and chicken in centre of each tortilla, roll up and place on the baking tray, seam side down. Ladle on sauce and top with any remaining cheese mixture. Bake 20 minutes.

Full time results

Serve with remaining sauce on the side.

Queens Park Rangers F.C. ~ Harry Redsnapper

Introduction: Henry James “Harry” Redknapp (born 2 March 1947) is a former English kickballer who is currently manager of Queens Park Rangers. He has had a long career in football management starting in 1983 with Bournemouth.

He is also known for his colourful quotes. “I sorted out the team formation last night lying in bed with the wife. When your husband’s as ugly as me, you’d only want to talk football in bed.”

Preparation time: 30mins

Cooking time: 4 or 20 mins depending if you choose whole fish or fillets

Home kit: Baking tray, small mixing bowl and dish, rolling pin (or hammer) .

Away kit: 4 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 4

Ingredients

• 1 pound whole Harry Redsnapper, cleaned and gutted OR fillets
• For the marinade:
• 2 cloves garlic
• 2 stalks fresh lemongrass, cut in 1/4″ stalks
• 1 Tablespoon fish sauce
• 1 teaspoon brown sugar
• 3 Tablespoons peanut oil
• 2 Thai chillies, sliced thinly

Method: Preheat the grill

First half

Wash the fish and pat dry with some paper towels. If you’re using the whole fish, make two or three ¼” deep cuts diagonally across its flanks. Smash up the stalks of the lemongrass with the rolling pin (or hammer) but reserve about a 1″ of the softest stalk and chop finely. Combine the garlic, fish sauce, sugar, oil, chillies, smashed and chopped lemongrass in the bowl and let the it marinade for about 5 minutes, then remove the chillies and set aside in the dish for later use.

Pour the marinade over the fish. If you are using the whole fish, place the smashed lemongrass stalks in the body cavity of the fish. This will add some extra lemongrassiness. Let marinade for about 20 minutes.

Second half

Place fish under the hot grill. Cook for about 2 minutes on each side for fillets, 10 minutes on each side for the whole fish. The time necessary for a whole Harry Redsnapper will also depend on the size of him.

Full time results

Remove fish from grill and dress with the diced chillies and serve on the plates you warmed under the grill with sticky Thai rice. Once served and eaten, wait for a couple of hours and you will find that Fabio Cappello has resigned from whatever job he was in.

Newcastle United F.C. ~ Geordie Pan Heggarty

Introduction: This is a bit convoluted so pay attention…  The Stanley Cricket Club of Byker was later formed in November 1881and renamed Newcastle East End F.C. in October 1882. In 1886 Newcastle East End moved from Byker to Heaton.

In August 1882, Newcastle West End F.C. formed from West End Cricket Club, and in May 1886, the club moved into St James’ Park.

The two clubs became rivals in the Northern League. In 1889 Newcastle East End became a professional team, before becoming a limited company the following March.

Newcastle West End were in serious financial trouble and approached East End with a view to a take over. Newcastle West End were eventually dissolved, and a number of their players and backroom staff joined Newcastle East End, effectively merging the two clubs, with Newcastle East End taking over the lease on St James’ Park in May 1892.

Pan Heggarty is a traditional dish from the north east of England. It is a filling dish and a cheap way to fill stomachs.  The linguistic the root of Heggerty is probably the same as haggis , both derived from the French “hache” meaning chopped.

Preparation time: 30 mins

Cooking time: 40 mins

Home kit: Saucepan, large frying pan, grater and large mixing bowl

Away kit: 4 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 4

Ingredients

• 2 large potatoes, par boiled and cooled
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 4 rashers smoked streaky bacon, chopped
• 2 cloves gnarly garlic, chopped
• 150g strong cheddar cheese, grated
• Handful fresh parsley, chopped (or a palmful of dried parsley)
• Olive oil

Method:

First half

Par boil the spuds in the saucepan for 10 mins and leave to cool, running them under cold water helps. Fry the bacon in the large frying pan till crispy. While that is happening roughly grate the large potatoes into a large mixing bowl (large potatoes are easier to hold than little ones) then crumble in the crispy bacon and mix in the onion, cheese and chopped parsley. Make 4 patties out of the mixture.

Second half

Add some oil to the bacon fat (also called lard) in the frying pan and on a high heat fry the patties until they are crisp and brown, about 4 minutes a side. It is best to do them two at a time or the patties do not crisp up.

Full time

Lay the table with the away kit and serve and eat as soon as they have cooled down enough, with salad if you must.

Tottenham Hotspur F.C. ~ Steak and Yidney pie

Introduction: Tottenham Hotspur Football Club, commonly referred to as Spurs, is an English football club that plays in the Premier League. The club’s home stadium is White Hart Lane and it is the first premiership stadium I ever visited when I went to watch The Millwall play there some time around 2002 I think.

Founded in 1882, Tottenham won the FA Cup for the first time in 1901, making it the only non-League club to do so since the formation of the Football League. Tottenham was the first club in the 20th century to achieve the League and FA Cup Double, winning both competitions in the 1960–61 season.

Supporters of Spurs adopted the nickname “Yid” as a direct response to opposition fans originally using the word against them as a form of taunting and abuse. “Yid” is used as a badge of honour by the supporters of Tottenham Hotspur F.C., whether they be Jewish or not. And it is in that kickballing spirit that I have named this recipe. I do not wish to offend in any way, this is a kickball cuisine recipe for Spurs fans, for their history and for their chant. This is not a commentary on the broader issues of race and religion. I hope you enjoy the recipe.

Preparation time: 45 mins

Cooking time: One kickball match (3 hours)

Home kit: a casserole, 3 pint pie dish, pie funnel, kitchen scissors, shallow dish and set aside dish.

Away kit: 4 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 4

Ingredients

• 25g (1oz) butter
• 2tbsp vegetable oil
• 900g (2lb) braising steak, cut into 1 inch cubes
• 3 lamb’s kidneys, snip out the white gristle and quarter
• 3 tbsp. plain flour
• 2 onions, peeled and finely sliced
• 2 garlic cloves, peeled and chopped
• 1 x 570ml (1 pint) dark ale
• Good splash Worcestershire sauce
• 100g (4oz) chestnut mushrooms, quartered
• 375g (13oz) puff pastry
• 1 egg yolk, to glaze the pastry
• Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
• A little water

Method: Preheat the oven to 160^oC

First half

Put the flour in the dish and season, coat the bits of steak and kidney in the seasoned flour. Heat the butter and oil in the casserole over a medium heat and brown a few pieces of meat at a time to seal in the flavours. Set aside and continue until it is all browned. Add a little water to the casserole and loosen the loveliness at the bottom with a wooden spoon. Now fry the onions and garlic to cook for 10 minutes until soft and lightly coloured.

Add the ale and Worcestershire sauce and season. Put on the lid and cook in the oven for one kickball match (2- 2½ hours) until the meat is tender.

Add the mushrooms, stir and pour into the pie dish. Put the funnel in the centre and cool.

Second half – Increase the oven temperature to 200^oC.

Grease the rim of the pie dish. Roll out the pastry on a lightly floured board. Cut a 1 inch strip of pastry and press on to the rim of the pie dish. Brush the rim with water. Roll the remaining pastry to make a lid and place on top of the pie, pressing down the edges. Trim and knock up by using a flat-bladed knife and horizontally tapping the edge. Decorate the centre of the pie with a pastry cockerel standing on a kickball. Mix the egg yolk with a little water and brush over the pastry. Place in the oven and cook for 25 to 30 minutes or until the pastry is risen and golden brown.

Extra time

The cooked meat mixture can be frozen for up to a month in the pie dish in a freezer bag. To assemble the pie, simply defrost and play the second half.

Full time results

Stick on a plate with peas and eat with a pint of ale.

Aston Villa F.C. ~ Claret and beef

Introduction: Aston Villa’s colours are a claret shirt with sky blue sleeves, white shorts with claret and blue trim, and sky blue socks with claret and white trim. They are the original wearers of the claret and blue having stated some time after 1886.

[This is the pre-2007 badge, for extra claret-y]

To celebrate this fact here is a claret, beef and mushroom stew for the making of.

Preparation time: 30 mins

Cooking time: First half 30 mins, second half 3 hours

Home kit: large ovenproof casserole, slotted spoon, two set aside plates

Away kit: 4-6 dinner plates, knives and forks

Serves: 4-6

Ingredients

• 7 rashers streaky bacon, cut into inches
• 8 shallots
• 400g quartered button mushrooms
• 1.5kg stewing steak, cut into 1 inch cubes
• 4 tbsp. oil
• 5 garlic cloves, crushed
• 2 tbsp. flour
• 1 bottle claret (Bordeaux)
• 1 tsp. sugar
• bunch of fresh herbs
• flour
• salt and black pepper to taste

Method: Preheat the oven to 150^oC

First half

Fry the bacon in the casserole dish until lightly browned. Add the onions and cook in the bacon fat for about 5 minutes then add the mushrooms, stirring gently for about 5 minutes. Scoop out of the casserole with the slotted spoon and set aside.

Pour the oil into the casserole dish and brown the steak cubes in small batches (too many and they steam rather then fry). Set them aside as you go. That done, put the browned meat back in the casserole dish, add the garlic and sprinkle the flour over the meat. Place in the pre-heated oven for 15 minutes while you prep the herbs and perhaps taste a little of the wine?

Second half

Now we season the dish, add the wine and the herbs (any mix of thyme, rosemary, tarragon, bay leaves, parsley), sugar, salt and pepper then cover and cook the casserole in the oven for three hours, while you adjourn to the pub/match.

Full time result

On your return add the bacon/shallot/mushroom mixture. Return to the oven and heat while you boil the potatoes that you are going to serve it with.