Hull City A.F.C. ~ Boothberry Tart

Introduction: Boothferry Park was the cherished home of Hull City AFC for over 50 years from 31 August 1946 until December 2002.  Sadly, it is not so cherished now…

Hull City’s record home attendance was 55,019 at this stadium for a match against Manchester United on 26th February 1949. A record which will never be beaten as the new seated stadium only has a capacity of less than half of that at 25,586.

Preparation time: 10 mins

Cooking time: 45 mins

Home kit: 11in x 7in loose-bottomed tart tin, blind baking beans (No they are not beans that are blind, Google them!), small saucepan, large mixing bowl

Away kit: 4 pudding bowls and forks

Serves: 4

Ingredients

• 375g (13oz) shortcrust pastry
• 100g (4oz) butter
• 100g (4oz) caster sugar
• 3 eggs
• 100g (4oz) ground almonds
• 50g (2oz) toasted almonds
• Blueberry jam
• 125g (4½ oz.) blueberries

Method: Preheat the oven to 190^oC

First half

Roll out the pastry and line the tart tin. Prick the base and line with foil and the baking beans, make sure the beans go right into the corners, well not corners but you know what I mean. Chill for 15 mins by listening to some Amy Winehouse.

Now the pastry is chilled, bake for 15 mins then remove the beans and foil and return to the oven for 5 mins until the pastry is a pale biscuit colour.

Second half

While the casing is cooking melt the butter and sugar in the saucepan, pour into a bowl and beat in the eggs and almonds.

Spread the tart case with a little jam and the blueberries, then pour the egg mixture carefully over the top. Bake in the oven for 20 mins until the mixture is golden, risen and springy to the touch.

Full time results

Serve with whipped cream.

Wigan Athletic F.C. ~ Crab Laticakes

Introduction: The club’s nickname, “Latics” is a contraction of the word “Athletic” in some strange dialect.

Make these up before you go to the match and stick them in the fridge to firm up.

Preparation time: 10 mins

Chilling time; The longer the better

Cooking time: 10 mins

Home kit: large mixing bowl, large non-stick frying pan

Away kit: 4 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 4

Ingredients

• 250g (9oz) white crab meat
• 4 spring onions, thinly sliced
• A thumb of fresh ginger, grated
• 4tbsp fresh chives, finely chopped
• 1 red chilli, deseeded and finely chopped
• 2 large eggs
• 200g (7oz) fresh white breadcrumbs
• 3tbsp vegetable oil
• 4tbsp mayonnaise (full fat not that light rubbish)
• Finely grated zest and juice of ½ lime, plus lime wedges to serve
• Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper

Method: Preheat the oven to 100^oC

First half

Mix the crab, spring onions, ginger, chives, chilli, eggs and breadcrumbs together in the bowl. Season and form into 16 round patties.

Second half

Heat the oil in the frying pan. Fry the crab cakes for 3 mins each side so they turn crispy and golden – if you do this in batches they turn crispy quicker as there is not so much steam in the pan.

Full time results

Mix together the mayonnaise, lime zest and juice. Season well and serve with the crab cakes, lime wedges and a crisp green salad if you must or stick them in come crusty bread rolls.

West Bromwich Albion F.C. ~ West Bromwich Albumen

Introduction: West Bromwich Albion Football Club, also known as West Brom, The Baggies, The Throstles, Albion or WBA, is an English professional football club based in West Bromwich in the West Midlands. The club was formed in 1878 and has played at its home ground the Hawthorns since 1900.

They are one of the founding members of the Kickball League from 1888. They have won the FA cup 5 times. Their local derby is against Aston Vanilla.

Preparation time: 10mins

Chilling time: 2 hours (Do it before going to the match)

Home kit: Food processor, medium mixing bowl and a medium sieve.

Away kit: 4 serving glasses

Serves: 4

Ingredients

• 300g (10oz) blueberries (home kit)
• 75g (2½oz) golden caster sugar
• 500g pot Greek yogurt
• 2 medium egg whites (you could use the yolks to make Bluebirdy Rarebit)
• 4 sprigs redcurrants (away kit), to decorate

Method: Preheat the fridge to 0^oC

First half

Put the home kit berries into a food processor with the sugar and whizz until smooth. Press through a sieve into the mixing bowl to remove the pips and stir in the yogurt.

Second half

Whisk the egg whites to soft peaks and fold into the yogurt/berry mixture. Spoon into 4 glasses. Chill for 1-2 hours.

Full time results

Serve topped with a sprig of the away berries.

Cardiff City F.C. ~ Bluebirdy Rarebit

Introduction: Cardiff have been called The Bluebirds since sometime between 1909 and 1911.

You might be interested in the connection with the children’s play called The Blue Bird, written by the Belgian playwright Maurice Maeterlinck in 1909. The bird, a symbol of happiness, is pursued by children who want to imprison it in a cage and the play’s theme urges us not to try to hoard happiness for ourselves.

It came to the New Theatre in Cardiff in late October 1911. The publicity surrounding the play’s arrival and then Maeterlinck’s Nobel Prize for Literature combined with the new blue strip led to a mystery Cardiff City supporter deciding to call the team ‘The Blue Birds’. Gradually, it emerged as the favoured nickname before being adopted officially by the club.

Preparation time: 20 mins

Cooking time: 10 mins

Home kit: small mixing bowl, large toaster and a grill.

Away kit: 1 serving plate, napkins

Serves: 4

Ingredients

• 1 free-range egg yolk
• 85g/3oz Danish blue cheese, crumbled
• 3 tbsp. double cream
• 1 tsp. Dijon mustard
• A dash Worcestershire sauce
• salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 2 slices crusty white bread

Method: Preheat the grill to medium

First half

Vigorously mix the egg yolk, cheese, cream, mustard, Worcestershire sauce, salt and pepper in the bowl until well combined.

Second half

Stick two slices of bread in one toaster slot so you only toast one side of each. Top the un-toasted side with the egg and cheese mixture and slap onto a baking sheet and slide under the grill for 3-4 minutes, until golden-brown and bubbling on top.

Full time results

Stick on the serving plate and eat immediately.  Well not immediately as you will burn the roof of your mouth, but you know what I mean.

Cardiff City F.C. ~ Malky Mackay Cakes

Introduction: Malcolm George “Malky” Mackay (born 19 February 1972) is a Scottish football manager and former player. He played as a defender and began his career in Scottish football with Queen’s Park and Celtic. He also won five caps for Scotland.

He was the manager of Cardiff City from June 2011 to December 2013. He had a very successful two and a half years there taking them from the Championship to the Premier league for the first time in their history.

This recipe is for Welsh cakes or Pice ar y maen, a teatime treat passed on through generations and still as popular as ever.

Preparation time: 10mins

Cooking time: 10 mins

Home kit: food processor, scone cutter, large mixing bowl and a griddle, not got a griddle? A large frying pan will do. A spatula

Away kit: 4 side plates, knives and forks

Serves: 3-4 This makes about 12

Ingredients

• 8oz/225g self raising flour
• teaspoon salt
• teaspoon grated nutmeg
• 4oz/110g butter
• 4oz/110g caster sugar
• 1 large egg beaten
• 2-3 tablespoons milk
• 2oz/55g sultanas

Method: Preheat the oven to 100^oC

First half

Sieve together the flour, salt and nutmeg into a food processor. Cut a slice of hard butter, direct from the fridge, into the processor and whiz to the texture of fine crumbs. Add the sugar, and whiz in the egg and two tablespoons milk. Tip this mixture into the bowl, and add the sultanas. Knead briefly to a stiff dough – if it is crumbly, then add the third tablespoon of milk at this point to make it smooth. On a lightly floured surface, roll out the dough until it is about ½ inch thick. Cut into rounds using a scone cutter.

Second half

Heat a griddle, and rub it with butter. If you don’t possess a griddle, use a heavy frying pan instead. When it is very hot put the rounds of Welsh cake mixture onto this, and cook until brown on the underneath. Turn them over and cook on their other side. Remove them with the spatula to the wire rack to cool.

Full time results

Butter and eat with a nice cup of tea at half time.

Swansea City A.F.C. ~ Jack Tarts

Introduction: There are a number of possible reasons why Swansea are known as the Jacks. First, there was a famous dog, a Labrador retriever or newfoundland, owned by William Thomas. The dog would always respond to cries for help, diving into the water and rescuing whoever was in difficulty. He rescued 27 people from the docks and River Tawe in and around Swansea; his name was Swansea Jack. Second, the derivation may come from the nickname given to Swansea’s skilled and dependable mariners. And third, a theory exists that the coal miners from there abouts were called Swansea “Jacks” because of their lunch-boxes that were uniquely made of Swansea tin and called Jacks. Who knows? I like the shaggy dog story myself.

Here are William Thomas and Swansea Jack.

Preparation time: 10mins

Cooking time: 10 mins

Home kit: 12-hole muffin tray, large mixing bowl, large frying pan

Away kit: 1 serving plate

Serves: might be 12 but it’s unlikely, they are exceedingly good.

Ingredients

• butter, for greasing
• 3 egg yolks
• 125g/4½ oz. caster sugar
• 30g/1oz cornflour
• 1 vanilla pod, split, seeds scraped out
• 175ml/6fl oz. whole milk
• 225ml/8fl oz. double cream
• 300g/10½ oz. puff pastry
• plain flour, for dusting
• icing sugar, for dusting

Method: Preheat the oven to 180^oC

First half

Grease the wells of a 12-hole muffin tray with butter.

Heat the egg yolks, sugar and cornflour in the pan over a low heat, whisking continuously until thickened and smooth. Add the vanilla seeds, then add the milk and cream in a thin stream, whisking continuously, until the mixture is thick, smooth and well combined. Turn up the heat a little and continue to stir the custard mixture until it comes to the boil, then remove from the heat and cover the surface with cling film to prevent a skin forming and allow to cool.

Second half

Roll out the puff pastry onto a clean work surface lightly dusted with flour and icing sugar. Cut the pastry in half and place one sheet on top of the other. Roll the pastry sheets up like a Swiss roll and cut the roll into twelve slices. Lay each of the rolled pastry slices flat onto the work surface and roll out into 10cm/4in discs using a rolling pin.

Press a pastry disc into each of the wells of the prepared muffin tray. Divide the cooled custard equally among the pastry cases.

Into the oven to bake the tarts for 18-20 minutes, or until the custard has set and is pale golden-brown and the pastry is crisp and golden-brown. Remove from the oven and allow to cool in the tin.

Full time results

Serve on the plate with a nice cup of tea at half time in front of the tele.

Sunderland A.F.C. ~ Black Cat Pudding

Introduction: The link between Sunderland AFC and the black cat stems originally from a gun battery on the River Wear in 1805 which was called the ‘Black Cat’ battery after the men manning the station heard awful howling from a wailing black cat.

A hundred years later in 1905, a black cat was pictured sitting on a football next to Chairman F.W. Taylor and three years later a black cat featured on a team photograph.

The first official badge

This is a vintage recipe for a Sunderland pudding from the 18th Century when it was also known as a flour pudding.

Preparation time: 40mins

Cooking time: 20-30 mins

Home kit: large mixing bowl, some small cups

Away kit: some saucers

Serves: some

Ingredients

• 225g sugar
• 225g butter
• 1 pint of milk
• 300g of sifted flour
• 3 eggs and 2 egg yolks
• A little lemon zest

Method: Preheat the oven to 100^oC

First half

Heat the milk until hot but not boiling and stir in the butter until it melts. Let it cool for about ½ an hour before adding the other ingredients.

Stir in the sugar, flour and eggs and lemon zest. Whisk the mixture until light and fluffy.

Second half

Butter the cups and fill them rather more than half full; bake for about twenty minutes to half an hour.

Full time results

Serve with fruit, cream, custard or all three poured into the cups you cooked them in. Remember to put them on the saucers.

Stoke City F.C. ~ Goujon Banks

Introduction: Gordon Banks, OBE (born 30 December 1937) is… well, he’s Gordon Banks isn’t he! He made 194 appearances for Stoke between 1967 and 1972, and won 73 caps for his country. He was named FWA Footballer of the Year in 1972, and was named FIFA Goalkeeper of the Year on six occasions.

Clearly an animal lover, here he is saving a dog.

Banks made what he believed to be three of the best saves of his career in a Stoke shirt. He saved and caught a powerful, well placed header from Manchester City’s Wyn Davies from eight yards. The second was a Francis Lee header, which he saved at Maine Road, and the third was catching a volley from Spur’s Alan Gilzean hit from just six yards out at White Hart Lane.

Preparation time: 15 mins

Cooking time: 10 mins

Home kit: rolling pin, large frying pan, 3 saucers

Away kit: a large serving plate and some kitchen roll

Serves: A kickball team as finger food but 4 as a starter

Ingredients

• 2 chicken breasts
• 1 egg
• ½ cup of flour
• 1 matchbox of Parmesan cheese , grated
• 1 tsp. Basil
• 1 tsp. Oregano
• 1 tsp. thyme
• Handful of breadcrumbs
• Some oil for frying

Method: Preheat the oven to 75^oC and put in the large serving plate to warm

First half

Put the chicken breasts between two bits of cling-film and whack them with the rolling pin to flatten.

Cut the chicken into fingers about ½ inch wide. Put the flour, egg and breadcrumbs separately into the three saucers.  Grate the Parmesan and add the herbs to the breadcrumbs.

Second half – heat the oil in the frying pan

Dip the chicken fingers into the flour, then the egg and then the breadcrumb mixture and shallow fry in the frying pan over a medium heat until golden brown.  Do them a few at at time putting them on the kitchen roll on the plate in the oven.

Full time results

Serve from the warmed plate with tomato sauce, mayonnaise or just a squeeze of lemon juice.

Queens Park Rangers F.C. ~ Cherry Flancis

Introduction: Gerald Charles James “Gerry” Francis (born 6 December 1951) is an English former footballer and manager.

Francis made his debut for Queens Park Rangers v Liverpool in March 1969. He was captain and central midfield player during the 1970s and was a key player in the QPR side which came within a hair’s breadth of their first-ever league title in 1976. He won 12 caps for the England team between 1974 and 1976, and was captain for eight of those matches.

Preparation time: 40mins

Cooking time: 40 mins

Home kit: large and small mixing bowls, large pie dish

Away kit: 4-6 plates and spoons

Serves: 4-6

Ingredients

• ¾ lb. black cherries, washed and stems removed (leave the stones in)
• ½ cup sugar
• 1 tbsp. butter
• ¾ cup flour, sifted
• 1 pinch salt
• 2 eggs, beaten
• 1 cup milk
• Caster sugar

Method: Preheat the oven to 180^oC

First half

Put the cherries in a bowl, sprinkle with ¼ cup of the sugar, and let marinate for 30 minutes. Butter a deep pie dish. Put the flour, salt and remaining ¼ cup sugar in the large bowl. Add the eggs and mix in followed by the milk and another thorough mixing.

Second half

Put the cherries in the pie pan and pour in the batter. Stick it in the oven and bake for 35-40 minutes or until golden. Dust with the caster sugar.

Full time results

Allow to cook, stick on plate, eat

Note: The traditional method is to not pit the cherries. Leaving the stones in keeps the cherries very juicy. However, you can de-pit them if you so desire. But if you do leave them in, be sure to let your guests know before eating. Unless they support Chelsea, Fulham and Brentford.

Newcastle United F.C. ~ Keeganaan

Introduction: On 5 February 1992, almost eight years after his final game as a player, Keegan returned to football as manager of Newcastle United. They had been relegated from the top flight in 1989 and narrowly missed out on promotion in 1990 after losing in the playoffs to arch-rivals Sunderland, but in 1991 they had failed to make the playoffs and at several stages in 1991–92 they had occupied bottom place in the Second Division. Following the dismissal of previous manager Ossie Ardiles, Keegan was appointed to prevent Newcastle from being relegated to the third tier of English football for the first time.

A stottie is a flat and round loaf, about a foot in diameter and quite deep used here as a traditional north eastern replacement for naan bread.

Preparation time: 10mins or o mins

Cooking time: None or 10 mins

Home kit: large mixing bowl, large frying pan

Away kit: 4 plates, knives and forks

Serves: 4

Ingredients

• 500g minced lamb
• 1 egg
• 2 green chillies, chopped (don’t rub your eyes)
• 1 tbsp. ground coriander
• 1 tbsp. garam masala
• Handful fresh coriander, chopped (or a palmful of dried)
• Generous pinch of salt
• A little oil for frying

For serving

• Chilli sauce
• 1 stottie

Method: Preheat the oven to 100^oC

First half

Put all the ingredients into a large bowl and mix with your hands. When nicely combined take it out of the bowl and onto a clean flat surface like a breadboard and knead it for a while until it becomes smooth and sticky, like dough. Form into four patties.

Second half

Put the stottie on a plate in the oven to warm through.

Put a little oil in a frying pan and fry each of the patties for a couple of minutes on each side. Put them in the oven to rest for 5 mins.

Full time results

While the patties are resting take out the stottie, cut into four and then prise open each quarter. Slop in a little chilli sauce, pop in a rested pattie and eat. With salad if you must.

Extra time

Alternatively, buy some seekh kebabs from the Indian on the way back from the match and stick them in a warmed stottie. With a salad if you must.